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<?xml version='1.0' encoding='UTF-8'?>
<description>Advicenators Featured Questions</description>
<lastBuildDate>Sun, 21 Jan 2018 19:06:48 EST</lastBuildDate>
<managingEditor>[email protected] (DangerNerd)</managingEditor>
<pubDate>Sat, 20 Jan 2018 21:06:44 EST</pubDate>
<title>How long can an 84 year old person live with congestive heart failure?</title>
My grandma was diagnosed with congestive heart failure and the doctors in the ER said she almost had a stroke. This happened to her before, but she refuses to take her medicine or gets confused. Most of my family can’t be around her 24/7 because we work. My aunt lived with her, but doesn’t help. She was hospitalized a couple of times for strokes. A couple of weeks ago she went to the ER and they told her she had internal bleeding but sent her home.
<pubDate>Sun, 21 Jan 2018 19:06:48 EST</pubDate>
<title>Does it sound like it's possible to make this relationship work?</title>
So I've known this guy for 2 and a half years. At the time we met he was married, but we became best friends, talking every day on the phone and occasionally going out for dinner.
His marriage was a green card marriage and his "wife" was dating other people, but she was extremely jealous of my friendly relationship with her husband.
Of course in the process, I wound up falling for him. It just seemed like we had so much in common and I could feel the sparks. However, I knew it wasn't good for me or them and I wound up telling him one day that I couldn't keep talking to him and exited his life as kindly as I could.
Well then about a week ago (its been 8 months since we talked) I got a message from him telling me that he had just moved into his own place in what happens to be one of my favorite cities to visit. I confirmed this through a mutual friend and found out his wife was also living with somebody else in a different city.
We got to talking again and then we met up yesterday for dinner. I was trying to just keep things friendly, but he wound up admitting his feelings for me and told me that he had adored me since we met and he was jealous that I was dating other guys (in the past), but knew he couldn't do anything about it since he was also married. He told me that he felt like I was the one who got away and that he had missed me when we stopped talking and kept thinking about me.
I was of course totally swooned and we wound up going back to my place, where things got heavy, but I did decide against having sex with him because I was worried about his current status still being married.
During the night he told me he wanted to be with me and I want to be with him, but then in the morning he said he was concerned about what this meant for me. He told me that although his wife and him have already decided on getting a divorce that due to the green card papers he has to still wait 6-8 months before they can process it. He told me that he understands if I date other people until then, but that he still wants to see me.
Now I'm really confused and I don't know what to do. Six to eight months is a really long time, but I really have feelings for him. I've never met anybody else who has as much as we do in common or the same kind of chemistry and I've dated quite a few guys. I'm almost convinced that he's the one for me, but I also feel like anything could happen in that time period. His wife is already an extremely jealous person and she's threatened me before. I know her stance on things is that she should be able to date who she wants (she cheated on him all the time), but she's still weird about me seeing him even though they both know the marriage was just for citizenship.
I don't know whether all of this is just a "the grass is always greener on the other side" placebo for all of us or if this is real and just terrible timing.
Any advice helps.
<pubDate>Sun, 21 Jan 2018 08:26:08 EST</pubDate>
<title>I see my boyfriend once a month</title>
We are both 18 and we've been dating for close to seven months. My boyfriend lives about 50 miles away. As I still am not licensed to drive, and without a vehicle, he has to do the driving when we see each other, unless I catch a ride with my siblings when they spend the weekend with our father, who lives in the same area.
My boyfriend is a pretty busy guy. He typically works full time, 8-12 hour shifts 5 days a week, and he just started classes at the local tech school a few days ago. I'm proud of him, all of this is fine. However, I rarely get to talk with him. We always text good morning and typically good night, and we chat just a little through the day, when he's got a chance to look at his phone, but we never have a real conversation. Sometimes I ask if I can call him (he's never called me,) and my question may go completely unanswered for the night, and he only responds (eventually) to whatever other thing I may have texted. All of his texts are usually vague i.e. "How was your day?" "Good, how was yours? :)" On occasion, he says "sure," and I do call him. Other times, I get brave and I call him without asking, and he's either with his friends getting ridiculously high, or still at work. This is always late at night around the time he gets off, because I don't know exactly when. If he answers and he's with his friends, I tell him I'll talk to him another time because I just want a one-on-one conversation, and his attention (and I feel bad interrupting "guy time.") I get the feeling maybe he doesn't like phone calls, and I've asked, but he very sincerely tells me that it's okay...
Like I said in the beginning, we see each other once a month. Because I ask to make plans with him. Only if I ask. He'll look at his schedule to see if he's got a couple free days, or see where he can request a couple off, and he's happy to come and see me or bring me back home with him for the time. After he brings me home, or he leaves my house, we go back to texting for another month, until I get so antsy about it, I ask to make plans again. The thing is, he does have days off without scheduling them, and I understand he's tired, he's very responsible compared to a lot of his friends, but unless I ask, all of his free time, after work or on his weekends, if his family doesnt have plans, is spent with his friends. He has never once tried to make the plans or tried to call me. I see him two days a month, once a month, and on rare occasion get a phone call in because I called and he happened to be home.
I feel hurt that I do all of this and he doesnt reciprocate. I'm going to try to say something about it, but I still don't understand why it's like this in the first place. We have a good relationship, we get along really well, and have never had a real disagreement. He is very affectionate and very caring, and has been since the first day I met him. Is this something that just communicating my feelings could fix, or is it likely that he is personally just not ready for a relationship yet? I don't know what to do, and my friend tells me that he needs to "put in more effort" and that I need to "quit making excuses for him," (I always say that "he's busy though," or "he needs his guy time." I get so anxious, ridiculously anxious, thinking that I must be doing something wrong, he doesn't want to see me, he doesn't want to talk, I must be obsessive and annoying (I was a creepy girl when I was younger, and I've ruined my fair share of potential relationships, so I genuinely worry about this,) but he always genuinely reassures me that I'm fine, and he loves me.
I really don't know what's going on. Please help me. Thank you.
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