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<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><rss version="2.0" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" xmlns:wfw="http://wellformedweb.org/CommentAPI/" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" xmlns:sy="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/syndication/" xmlns:slash="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/slash/" > <channel> <title>As it were…</title> <atom:link href="https://topher1kenobe.com/feed/" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" /> <link>https://topher1kenobe.com/</link> <description>The ruminations of topher1kenobe</description> <lastBuildDate>Sun, 27 Apr 2025 17:24:44 +0000</lastBuildDate> <language>en-US</language> <sy:updatePeriod> hourly </sy:updatePeriod> <sy:updateFrequency> 1 </sy:updateFrequency> <generator>https://wordpress.org/?v=6.8.1</generator> <image> <url>https://topher1kenobe.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/favicon.ico</url> <title>As it were…</title> <link>https://topher1kenobe.com/</link> <width>32</width> <height>32</height></image> <item> <title>Important technology moments in my career</title> <link>https://topher1kenobe.com/important-moments-in-my-career/</link> <comments>https://topher1kenobe.com/important-moments-in-my-career/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[topher]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Sun, 27 Apr 2025 17:24:41 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Career]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://topher1kenobe.com/?p=3307</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>In which I do a survey of the moments in my career where I learned new things that changed everything.</p><p>The post <a href="https://topher1kenobe.com/important-moments-in-my-career/">Important technology moments in my career</a> appeared first on <a href="https://topher1kenobe.com">As it were...</a>.</p>]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I’m a web developer by trade, but I had very little (if any) formal training. I picked things up here and there as I went. Part of that is because I was in the business early enough that <em>everyone</em> was learning as they went. People (looking at YOU Netscape) were literally making things up as they went to see what worked. Here are some important events that made my career pivot.</p> <h2 class="wp-block-heading">Learning HTML</h2> <p>In late 1994 my college got access to the World Wide Web. This meant we could use the <a href="https://topher1kenobe.com/developing-for-lynx/">Lynx browser</a> on a dumb terminal connected to a VAX VMS machine in the back room. It was pretty cool, but <a href="https://topher1kenobe.com/things-i-said/">I still liked Gopher better</a>.</p> <p>One day a friend named James came into the computer lab and said “Hey, look what I made!” and it was a web page! I was floored, I had no idea we could make those. It was just an HTML file on the mainframe, no web server at all. </p> <p>He said “You should make one too.” </p> <p>and I said “I could never figure that stuff out.” </p> <p>and he said “Sure you can, it’s easy, let me show you.”</p> <p>And that afternoon I learned every HTML tag there was, because there were only about 40. <a href="https://www.w3.org/MarkUp/html-spec/">HTML2</a> wasn’t quite out yet. </p> <p>It was amazing. Breathtaking. I thought about it day and night. I read about it. I made notes and stuck them in my back pocket so much that it got thicker than my wallet.</p> <p>Many thanks to James.</p> <h2 class="wp-block-heading">Learning MySQL</h2> <p>I learned this pretty differently from most folks I expect. In 1997 I got a job at <a href="https://www.youthpastor.com/resource/index.cfm/GospelCom_Gospel_Communications_Network_602.htm">Gospelcom</a> doing support, and things like user accounts were stored in MySQL. I was given an <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SGI_Indy">SGI Indy</a> desktop computer, running the Irix operating system, shown how to SSH to our various servers, and given a crash course in the MySQL command line client. How to choose a database, view a table, find things in it, edit them, etc.</p> <p>It wasn’t that hard, and I got quite good at it. This gave me a HUGE advantage when I later started making database driven web sites.</p> <p>Thanks to Brian my boss for showing me how and answering a zillion questions.</p> <h2 class="wp-block-heading">Learning Server Side Includes</h2> <p>In 1997 I think I found Server Side Includes provided by Apache. They could do a little data rendering, but the thing I used them most for was including template parts. They looked like this:</p> <p><code><!--#include virtual="/footer.html" --></code></p> <p>They made it so when I needed to change a navigation section or footer info I only had to do it in one place. This saved me an enormous amount of time.</p> <p>I don’t remember who showed me this, but it was probably a co-worker at Gospelcom.</p> <h2 class="wp-block-heading">Learning PHP</h2> <p>In 1999 I was working at my desk at Gospelcom and Carlos came in and said </p> <p>“Hey guys, I have a side contract that needs PHP, anyone want to partner with me?”</p> <p>PHP was just coming into its own, with php3 having been released just 6 months before. There was no php2. I really wanted to learn it, so I said</p> <p>“I’ll do it!”</p> <p>That evening I went to devshed.com (it’s gone now, don’t go there) and tutorial number 1 was how to use PHP to get data from MySQL. In about 30 minutes I had built a little thing to get data from MySQL and print it to the screen. Again breathtaking. The possibilities seemed endless.</p> <p>I bought the <a href="https://www.oreilly.com/library/view/php-pocket-reference/1565927699/">PHP Pocket Reference</a> from O’Reilly and read it cover to cover many times, learning every function PHP had. Don’t get that book now, the latest edition is from 2000.</p> <p>Say what you wish about PHP, it turned me from an HTML markup dev to a programmer.</p> <p>Thanks to Carlos for the push.</p> <h2 class="wp-block-heading">Learning CSS</h2> <p>I first saw the concept of CSS when a friend showed me <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internet_Explorer#Internet_Explorer_1">Internet Explorer 1.0</a> which came with <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Microsoft_Plus!">Windows Plus</a>! He had made a link that was a color other than blue. I didn’t get it at first because people were mostly applying styles to individual tags. Eventually I saw how you could set styles from another file and have them apply everywhere.</p> <p>I struggled to really understand it though, so in the early 2000’s I got my boss to send me to a class taught by my friend Joel at Gospelcom, and he made everything clear.</p> <p>After that, CSS became one of my favorite parts of web dev for about 8 years. Then I looked away for a couple months and when I looked back plain CSS was not really a thing anymore. It needed <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grunt_(software)">Grunt</a> and <a href="https://gulpjs.com/">Gulp</a> and it was being compiled and had turned into <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sass_(style_sheet_language)">SASS</a> and <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SCSS">SCSS</a> and half a dozen other things.</p> <p>I went back to PHP and have pretty much stayed there ever since.</p> <p>Many thanks to Joel for his patience.</p> <h2 class="wp-block-heading">Learning WordPress</h2> <p>Much of my learning stagnated in the 2000’s. I felt like there wasn’t much new to learn. I didn’t want to bother with Javascript, the only thing people were using it for was popup banner ads.</p> <p>In 2009 a friend asked me to work on a WordPress site. I had tried using it before and wasn’t that impressed. I was able to make it do some things I wanted, but it just wasn’t quite there yet.</p> <p>Then in 2010 two important things happened. First I quit my job and went freelance. Second, <a href="https://wordpress.org/documentation/wordpress-version/version-3-0/">WordPress 3.0</a> came out with Custom Post Types. <a href="https://learn.wordpress.org/lesson/custom-post-types/">Custom Post Types</a> turned WordPress from a blog into a CMS.</p> <p>Since CPTs were relatively new, very few people knew how to make them or leverage them properly. My 12 years of PHP experience gave me a big leg up here, and I went all in. </p> <p>Now I’ve been doing WordPress work for 15 years, feeding my family, making my soul sing.</p> <p>Thanks to Steve for asking me to do that first site, and thanks to everyone who’s ever worked on WordPress.</p> <h2 class="wp-block-heading">Everything Else</h2> <p>That’s pretty much it for technology that changed my career. Many other things have changed it, but they were experiential. Meeting people, going places, seeing and hearing things. Lots of those things fade from memory, but the technology that made it all work is still findable on the web.</p><p>The post <a href="https://topher1kenobe.com/important-moments-in-my-career/">Important technology moments in my career</a> appeared first on <a href="https://topher1kenobe.com">As it were...</a>.</p>]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://topher1kenobe.com/important-moments-in-my-career/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>Apnea, CPAP, ASV, and just breathing</title> <link>https://topher1kenobe.com/apnea-cpap-asv-and-just-breathing/</link> <comments>https://topher1kenobe.com/apnea-cpap-asv-and-just-breathing/#comments</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[topher]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Thu, 30 Jan 2025 15:55:42 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[health]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://topher1kenobe.com/?p=3287</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>I’ve known I have sleep apnea for years now, but when my doctor told me it’s actually quite dangerous we scheduled a test. So in the spring of 2024 I did a home sleep test. I wore a harness on my chest, a nasal cannula, and a blood meter on my finger. After the results […]</p><p>The post <a href="https://topher1kenobe.com/apnea-cpap-asv-and-just-breathing/">Apnea, CPAP, ASV, and just breathing</a> appeared first on <a href="https://topher1kenobe.com">As it were...</a>.</p>]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I’ve known I have sleep apnea for years now, but when my doctor told me it’s actually quite dangerous we scheduled a test. So in the spring of 2024 I did a home sleep test. I wore a harness on my chest, a nasal cannula, and a blood meter on my finger.</p> <p>After the results were analyzed I got a note that said I needed to have an office based test done as soon as possible. So it was scheduled for 8 months later.</p> <p>The average person has 5 or fewer “events” per hour while sleeping, where an event is something that wakes you up even a tiny bit. Rolling over, coughing, whatever. 15 is considered a problem and 30 is very serious. I had 89. Also, I had a 3 hour period where my blood oxygen level was below 35%. That’s a point where brain cells are dying.</p> <p>Fortunately, after only 4 months I got a call that there was an opening, and I could come in that very night. The attendant looked at my chart and said “Oh my”. Long story short I tried a CPAP machine (more on that in a few min) with two different mask styles. The next morning I asked the attendant how it went and she said “Well… you slept.” </p> <p>So they recommended a machine.</p> <h2 class="wp-block-heading">The Machine</h2> <p>A few days later I got a call from AirWay Oxygen about getting a machine. “Let me look up your chart”, she said. A long pause. “Oh my. Can you hold?” A few minutes later she came back and said “Well, we don’t get many of these. You’re getting a special machine usually reserved for coma patients.” As it turns out it’s NOT a CPAP machine, it’s an ASV machine (more on that in a minute).</p> <p>It also turned out that it was $4500, and we were in a tight spot at the moment, so I didn’t get it.</p> <p>In January 2025 we decided we could afford the monthly payments, and picked up the machine. We met with a nice woman who went over the machine with us. She looked at my chart and said “Oh my. You’re very sleepy aren’t you?” I said “All day every day!”</p> <h2 class="wp-block-heading">Some Definitions</h2> <p>So apnea is a brief pause in breathing, often (but not always!) during sleep. There are two kinds, Obstructive and Central. </p> <p>Obstructive is simply where the trachea becomes closed for some reason. This is common with older or heavy people, it just gets kinked. You stop breathing for 45 seconds or so, and then take a big gasping breath. People with apnea rarely wake up for this, it feels normal.</p> <p>Central is where the brain forgets to make you breath. Otherwise it’s the same. You stop until it realizes it needs air and then you take a big gasping breath. An interesting thing about this though is that it can happen while you’re awake. Then you notice you’re not breathing and take a deep sigh. This is the kind I have.</p> <p>It’s not painful at all, but often leads to snoring. I am a VERY loud snorer.</p> <p>There are also different kinds of machines to help with this. CPAP is the most common, and it stands for Continuous Positive Airway Pressure. You wear a mask that might cover only your nose, or perhaps nose and mouth, and there’s a gentle breeze blowing all the time. It forces the airway open and you breath al the time.</p> <p>What I got is called an ASV machine, Adaptive-servo ventilation. It can tell when you’re exhaling, and stops blowing. Then it starts again when you’re inhaling. There’s a picture of mine in the featured image of this post. My mask covers my nose and mouth, and the air is heated and humidified, to try to make it as much like breath as possible.</p> <h2 class="wp-block-heading">How It’s Going</h2> <p>I’ve had it for a few weeks now. My biggest issue is that the head harness isn’t very comfortable. To make a solid seal on my face I need to cinch it pretty tight. </p> <p>I have a sore spot right under my nose, but I don’t know why. Nothing touches me there. I’ve wondered if it’s drying out from the air passing over it.</p> <p>My water reservoir tends to run out before morning and the air gets really dry. I can control the amount of water in the air, so I need to experiment with that.</p> <p>I’ve been quite happy with the app that comes with it. Every morning I can see how I slept, how the seal was, etc.</p> <p>The whole point of this is to improve my sleep, and it’s working and it’s not. I’m waking up about every 2 hours to reseal the mask or get new water or whatever. That said, while I am asleep, it’s deep good sleep. And I can tell it’s working because I’m not falling asleep in the middle of the day or while driving anymore.</p> <p>So my hope is that I’ll get used to the harness and this will all feel normal, and I’ll sleep well for the rest of my life.</p><p>The post <a href="https://topher1kenobe.com/apnea-cpap-asv-and-just-breathing/">Apnea, CPAP, ASV, and just breathing</a> appeared first on <a href="https://topher1kenobe.com">As it were...</a>.</p>]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://topher1kenobe.com/apnea-cpap-asv-and-just-breathing/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>2</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>Pro Tips For Partners Of Women</title> <link>https://topher1kenobe.com/pro-tips-for-partners-of-women/</link> <comments>https://topher1kenobe.com/pro-tips-for-partners-of-women/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[topher]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Tue, 31 Dec 2024 21:43:27 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Letters To My Son]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://topher1kenobe.com/?p=3277</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>My son, do not let wisdom and understanding out of your sight, preserve sound judgment and discretion; they will be life for you, an ornament to grace your neck. Proverbs 3:21-22 If this your first experience with this series “Letters to my son” you may want to start with the preface, it’ll explain a lot […]</p><p>The post <a href="https://topher1kenobe.com/pro-tips-for-partners-of-women/">Pro Tips For Partners Of Women</a> appeared first on <a href="https://topher1kenobe.com">As it were...</a>.</p>]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<blockquote class="wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow"><p>My son, <strong>do not let wisdom and understanding out of your sight, preserve sound judgment and discretion</strong>; they will be life for you, an ornament to grace your neck.</p> <p><em>Proverbs 3:21-22</em></p></blockquote> <p>If this your first experience with this series “<a href="https://topher1kenobe.com/category/letters-to-my-son/">Letters to my son</a>” you may want to start with the <a href="https://topher1kenobe.com/letters-to-my-son-a-series/">preface</a>, it’ll explain a lot about what’s going on here. Let’s get started.</p> <p>This post isn’t a long dialog about how to be a pro partner. It’s simply a collection of tips on how to be a good partner to a woman.</p> <h2 class="wp-block-heading">Back Scratches</h2> <p>Ok, for those of you that have worn sport socks, you know how your legs itch like crazy when you take them off after a long day? They’ve been squeezing your legs all day, and you don’t really notice until you take the off.</p> <p>Bras do the same thing to the wearers back. When that clasp comes undone after a long day, a scratch where those straps were is ridiculously pleasurable. This is not a sexual thing, and if its coming off at the end of a long day, it’s unlikely to become sexual. Take this opportunity to NOT try to make it sexual. Scratch how they like it. Maybe gentle, maybe sharp, just ask and listen.</p> <p>They will appreciate several things from this exchange.</p> <ol class="wp-block-list"><li>It just feels so good.</li> <li>Making it about them, and not you (no sex)</li> <li>The fact that you thought about it, and recognized something about them.</li></ol> <h2 class="wp-block-heading">Foot Massages</h2> <p>Many women wear high heels, and many of them become really comfortable with them. That said, anything higher than an inch or two isn’t really a natural position for human feet. Even regular wearers get sore feet.</p> <p>Take some time to massage their feet when the time is right. In my experience, unless it’s inconveniencing them, the time is almost always right. Here are some examples.</p> <ol class="wp-block-list"><li>She comes home from work, kicks off the shoes and flops in a chair. Because you’re a planner, you swing the foot stool around, sit on it, and pick up a foot and gently begin to massage it. THEN YOU ASK “is this ok?” Consent matters, everywhere all the time. Maybe it hurts too much and she needs you to stop. But you’ve done several things here. You were thoughtful, you took initiative, and you gave her the opportunity to say no. The third thing there makes the first two winners, even if she says no.</li> <li>She’s in bed feet sticking out of the covers. You’re coming in after brushing teeth or whatever. Rather than tickle, just pick up a foot and start massaging. Again you ask, because it’s what you do, but getting a massage in her own bed on her own pillow with her own book from her own partner is usually a winner.</li> <li>Pretty much anywhere she’s barefoot and stationary for a while. Watch for opportunity.</li></ol> <h2 class="wp-block-heading">Freedom To Change</h2> <p>This one isn’t really just for women, but for all partners. Something cool about long term relationships is that you get to know someone deeply. Something dangerous about long term relationships is the expectation that once you know someone, that person will never change.</p> <p>“Ugh, I don’t ever want steak again”.</p> <p>“What?!? You love steak! For 35 years you’ve loved steak! I feel like I don’t even know you!”</p> <p>There’s a fine line between knowing them well enough to plan something they’ll love, and being willing to re-learn things about them. Things maybe you never knew, or that have changed. People who feel penned in, held rigid in a relationship often begin to feel like they relationship doesn’t fit them anymore. Then they start looking for one, OR simply live a miserable life.</p> <p>If you can allow that person and that relationship to flex and bend and change as people change, it can be one that fits forever.</p> <p>“But can I tell if they’re changing?” you ask.</p> <p>One way is to watch for it. Everyone changes through their life. Music tastes, food tastes, entertainment, culture, sex, etc. But even then assuming is dangerous, so you have to talk about it. And when you open the conversation about it, it shows you care, and they’re important to you, which is a big win right there.</p> <h2 class="wp-block-heading">Purpose</h2> <p>Your reason for doing things like the ones I’ve listed above is important. If you do it to be the cool partner, assuming she’ll brag about awesome you are, or worse, bragging yourself about how awesome you are, and how she BETTER love you, since you’re awesome… Your relationship will fail. </p> <p>This stuff needs to come from love. From making her first, making her important to you, giving her needs, feeling, and emotions value.</p> <p>It’s a bit ironic that if you do these things to be great, you will not, but if you do them for the right reasons, you’ll be a great partner.</p><p>The post <a href="https://topher1kenobe.com/pro-tips-for-partners-of-women/">Pro Tips For Partners Of Women</a> appeared first on <a href="https://topher1kenobe.com">As it were...</a>.</p>]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://topher1kenobe.com/pro-tips-for-partners-of-women/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>Peaceful Television</title> <link>https://topher1kenobe.com/peaceful-television/</link> <comments>https://topher1kenobe.com/peaceful-television/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[topher]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Sun, 20 Oct 2024 18:33:51 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[TV Review]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://topher1kenobe.com/?p=3255</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>There are a few shows lately that have brought me peace to watch. There’s no angst, not anger, no frustration. Just peace. I recommend watching these if you’re looking for that. Travel Man Richard Ayoade Is a comedian from the UK, perhaps best known for his role as Moss in The IT Crowd. He also […]</p><p>The post <a href="https://topher1kenobe.com/peaceful-television/">Peaceful Television</a> appeared first on <a href="https://topher1kenobe.com">As it were...</a>.</p>]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>There are a few shows lately that have brought me peace to watch. There’s no angst, not anger, no frustration. Just peace. I recommend watching these if you’re looking for that.</p> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt4719744/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1">Travel Man</a></h2> <div class="wp-block-image"><figure class="alignleft size-large is-resized"><img fetchpriority="high" decoding="async" width="1024" height="768" src="https://topher1kenobe.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/08b9f03e841fa5eac5ecb59325b0c49908c4673f50ef283f25e2fbadbfa3f168-1024x768.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3256" style="width:400px" srcset="https://topher1kenobe.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/08b9f03e841fa5eac5ecb59325b0c49908c4673f50ef283f25e2fbadbfa3f168-1024x768.jpg 1024w, https://topher1kenobe.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/08b9f03e841fa5eac5ecb59325b0c49908c4673f50ef283f25e2fbadbfa3f168-300x225.jpg 300w, https://topher1kenobe.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/08b9f03e841fa5eac5ecb59325b0c49908c4673f50ef283f25e2fbadbfa3f168-1536x1152.jpg 1536w, https://topher1kenobe.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/08b9f03e841fa5eac5ecb59325b0c49908c4673f50ef283f25e2fbadbfa3f168-227x170.jpg 227w, https://topher1kenobe.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/08b9f03e841fa5eac5ecb59325b0c49908c4673f50ef283f25e2fbadbfa3f168.jpg 1600w, https://topher1kenobe.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/08b9f03e841fa5eac5ecb59325b0c49908c4673f50ef283f25e2fbadbfa3f168-300x225@2x.jpg 600w" sizes="(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px" /></figure></div> <p><a href="https://www.imdb.com/name/nm1547964/?ref_=tt_cl_t_1">Richard Ayoade</a> Is a comedian from the UK, perhaps best known for his role as Moss in The IT Crowd. He also did a show call Gadget Man, where he reviewed physical gadgets and digital apps etc.</p> <p>This grew to a new show called Travel Man where he and a companion (usually a fellow comedian) visit a city for 48 hours and experience all that they can.</p> <p>I love several things about this show. One is that they rarely visit and experience the things that are famous in the city. In Paris they didn’t visit the tower, they went to another building with a view of it. They take tours in things like go-karts, bicycles, etc. </p> <p>Both people on the show are funny, and even if they say something a little snarky you can tell they mean it in fun and genuinely like each other.</p> <p>We also get to see many of the non-mainstream fun things in a wide variety of cities.</p> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt12585152/?ref_=nm_flmg_job_2_cred_t_1">Down to Earth with Zac Efron</a></h2> <div class="wp-block-image"><figure class="alignleft size-large is-resized"><a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt12585152/?ref_=nm_flmg_job_2_cred_t_1"><img decoding="async" width="1024" height="576" src="https://topher1kenobe.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/5e47147606db1237a060db0d6212d42d81bcafb6c0d4ffbec152bdd9cb6ce151-1024x576.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3261" style="width:400px" srcset="https://topher1kenobe.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/5e47147606db1237a060db0d6212d42d81bcafb6c0d4ffbec152bdd9cb6ce151-1024x576.jpg 1024w, https://topher1kenobe.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/5e47147606db1237a060db0d6212d42d81bcafb6c0d4ffbec152bdd9cb6ce151-300x169.jpg 300w, https://topher1kenobe.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/5e47147606db1237a060db0d6212d42d81bcafb6c0d4ffbec152bdd9cb6ce151-1536x864.jpg 1536w, https://topher1kenobe.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/5e47147606db1237a060db0d6212d42d81bcafb6c0d4ffbec152bdd9cb6ce151-302x170.jpg 302w, https://topher1kenobe.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/5e47147606db1237a060db0d6212d42d81bcafb6c0d4ffbec152bdd9cb6ce151.jpg 1920w, https://topher1kenobe.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/5e47147606db1237a060db0d6212d42d81bcafb6c0d4ffbec152bdd9cb6ce151-300x169@2x.jpg 600w" sizes="(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px" /></a></figure></div> <p>I was wary of this show at first, but I came to love it. Zac and a friend travel around the world looking at unique solutions to social problems. For example, Paris has fresh drinking water available for free about every 100 meters in the entire city. Then they have vending machines full of empty plastic drinking bottles, which aren’t cheap.</p> <p>Again, it’s just a curious show about how people are Doing It Right and making the world a better place.</p> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt11852724/?ref_=nm_flmg_job_2_cred_t_2">Stanley Tucci: Searching for Italy</a></h2> <div class="wp-block-image"><figure class="alignleft size-full is-resized"><a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt11852724/?ref_=nm_flmg_job_2_cred_t_2"><img decoding="async" width="900" height="600" src="https://topher1kenobe.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/stanley-tucci-searching-for-italy.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3262" style="width:400px" srcset="https://topher1kenobe.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/stanley-tucci-searching-for-italy.jpg 900w, https://topher1kenobe.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/stanley-tucci-searching-for-italy-300x200.jpg 300w, https://topher1kenobe.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/stanley-tucci-searching-for-italy-255x170.jpg 255w, https://topher1kenobe.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/stanley-tucci-searching-for-italy-300x200@2x.jpg 600w" sizes="(max-width: 900px) 100vw, 900px" /></a></figure></div> <p>Stanley was born in the US to parents who came from Italy. He speaks Italian, and loves Italian food. In this show he visits each territory of Italy and looks at the foods that come from that area. </p> <p>The people he visits range from chefs to house wives to farm owners to shepherds. To be clear, he’s a foodie, and only once or twice had second thoughts about eating what he was presented, and generally LOVED everything he ate.</p> <p>I am not that foodie, AT ALL. But I still loved his enjoyment and appreciation of the quality of the ingredients, the love put into their crafting, etc. It’s a very calm quiet show.</p> <h2 class="wp-block-heading"><a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt16428770/?ref_=nm_flmg_job_2_cred_t_1">Honorable Mention: Eva Longoria: Searching for Mexico</a></h2> <div class="wp-block-image"><figure class="alignleft size-full is-resized"><img decoding="async" width="640" height="640" src="https://topher1kenobe.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/ab67616d0000b273917ad7de5d09ce3c0366fc08.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3264" style="width:400px" srcset="https://topher1kenobe.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/ab67616d0000b273917ad7de5d09ce3c0366fc08.jpg 640w, https://topher1kenobe.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/ab67616d0000b273917ad7de5d09ce3c0366fc08-150x150@2x.jpg 300w, https://topher1kenobe.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/ab67616d0000b273917ad7de5d09ce3c0366fc08-150x150.jpg 150w, https://topher1kenobe.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/ab67616d0000b273917ad7de5d09ce3c0366fc08-170x170.jpg 170w, https://topher1kenobe.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/ab67616d0000b273917ad7de5d09ce3c0366fc08-300x300@2x.jpg 600w" sizes="(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px" /></figure></div> <p>I’ve never seen this, and only found it today whilst researching this post, but it’s produced by Stanley Tucci and Eva travels Mexico trying all of its foods. I have a very strong suspicion I’m going to like it.</p> <p>I hope these shows bring you the same peace they brought me.</p><p>The post <a href="https://topher1kenobe.com/peaceful-television/">Peaceful Television</a> appeared first on <a href="https://topher1kenobe.com">As it were...</a>.</p>]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://topher1kenobe.com/peaceful-television/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> <enclosure url="https://topher1kenobe.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/23e46b308bd9988cbcd434ca1e00c9b4be77ca51dd3145ff01947801cc65670d-1024x576.jpg" length="65668" type="image/jpeg" /> </item> <item> <title>Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening</title> <link>https://topher1kenobe.com/stopping-by-woods-on-a-snowy-evening/</link> <comments>https://topher1kenobe.com/stopping-by-woods-on-a-snowy-evening/#comments</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[topher]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Wed, 16 Oct 2024 18:53:23 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[General Post]]></category> <category><![CDATA[My Story]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://topher1kenobe.com/?p=3251</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>For many years now this has been my favorite poem, by Robert Frost. Whose woods these are I think I know. His house is in the village though; He will not see me stopping here To watch his woods fill up with snow. My little horse must think it queer To stop without a farmhouse near Between the woods and […]</p><p>The post <a href="https://topher1kenobe.com/stopping-by-woods-on-a-snowy-evening/">Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening</a> appeared first on <a href="https://topher1kenobe.com">As it were...</a>.</p>]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>For many years now this has been my favorite poem, by Robert Frost.</p> <p>Whose woods these are I think I know. <br>His house is in the village though; <br>He will not see me stopping here <br>To watch his woods fill up with snow. </p> <p>My little horse must think it queer <br>To stop without a farmhouse near <br>Between the woods and frozen lake <br>The darkest evening of the year. </p> <p>He gives his harness bells a shake <br>To ask if there is some mistake. <br>The only other sound’s the sweep <br>Of easy wind and downy flake. </p> <p>The woods are lovely, dark and deep, <br>But I have promises to keep, <br>And miles to go before I sleep, <br>And miles to go before I sleep.</p> <hr class="wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity"/> <p>When I was a young man our house was deep in the forest. The road was a 2-track, and the trees always leaned over the road to make a tunnel, whether with leaves in the summer or snow in the winter.</p> <p>Church was about 2 miles away, and it wasn’t uncommon for me to either walk or ride my bike home at night, regardless of time of year.</p> <p>I well remember walks down that road with the snow piled on either side, stretching into the forest. On moonlight nights the snow would reflect the moon so that it seemed like daylight, except the snow also sparkled like diamonds. Other nights were so dark I couldn’t see my hand in front of my face, and I had to look up to see the faint dim opening of the trees over the road to know where the road was.</p> <p>Standing alone in a deep forest filled with snow is an experience everyone should try.</p> <h2 class="wp-block-heading">Rhyming</h2> <p>For all that I’ve loved this poem for years, only in the last few weeks did I notice how cool the rhyming is. I thought it was simply choice that the third line of every verse doesn’t rhyme with the rest of the verse.</p> <p>Then I noticed that it always rhymes with 1, 2, and 4 of the FOLLOWING verse.</p> <p>That’s classy poetry.</p><p>The post <a href="https://topher1kenobe.com/stopping-by-woods-on-a-snowy-evening/">Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening</a> appeared first on <a href="https://topher1kenobe.com">As it were...</a>.</p>]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://topher1kenobe.com/stopping-by-woods-on-a-snowy-evening/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>1</slash:comments> <enclosure url="https://topher1kenobe.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/pexels-francesco-ungaro-7605534-1024x683.jpg" length="103201" type="image/jpeg" /> </item> <item> <title>Donald Trump And The Spirit Of Antichrist</title> <link>https://topher1kenobe.com/donald-trump-and-the-spirit-of-antichrist/</link> <comments>https://topher1kenobe.com/donald-trump-and-the-spirit-of-antichrist/#comments</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[topher]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Sun, 18 Aug 2024 19:25:00 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category> <category><![CDATA[antichrist]]></category> <category><![CDATA[ares]]></category> <category><![CDATA[athena]]></category> <category><![CDATA[trump]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://topher1kenobe.com/?p=3236</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>Attention non-Christians: there’s a special bit just for you below, please read. Part One: Antichrist The Bible refers to “antichrist” in three different ways. I’m going to talk about one of them. Here are the two I’m NOT going to talk about: The Anti Christ at the end of times, and specific people who have […]</p><p>The post <a href="https://topher1kenobe.com/donald-trump-and-the-spirit-of-antichrist/">Donald Trump And The Spirit Of Antichrist</a> appeared first on <a href="https://topher1kenobe.com">As it were...</a>.</p>]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Attention non-Christians: there’s a special bit just for you below, <a href="#jesus">please read</a>.</p> <h2 class="wp-block-heading">Part One: Antichrist</h2> <p>The Bible refers to “antichrist” in three different ways. I’m going to talk about one of them. Here are the two I’m NOT going to talk about: The Anti Christ at the end of times, and specific people who have been models of antichrist in the past.</p> <p>What I’m going to talk about is the “spirit of antichrist” found in 1 John 2 and 4.</p> <p>The spirit of antichrist is an attitude, a lifestyle. Jesus exhibited love, compassion, understanding, grace, peace, etc. The spirit of antichrist is literally the opposite. Hate, indifference, etc.</p> <h2 class="wp-block-heading">Part Two: Donald Trump</h2> <p>As Donald Trump rose to power I began to see him do more and more things that Jesus would never do. I began thinking through everything I’ve seen Trump do on TV. At one point I thought “It’s almost like he’s the opposite of Jesus in every way!” And that’s when it hit me. That’s the definition of antichrist.</p> <p>Donald Trump exhibits the spirit of antichrist in almost every way. I haven’t seen a way that he does not. I don’t say it IS every way, because he lives a lot of his life off camera. What do I know, maybe he’s a nice guy when he’s alone.</p> <h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="jesus">Part Three: I don’t believe in Jesus, why do I care?</h2> <p>Several reasons. The first is easy. Tell any Trump loving Christian that Trump is the antichrist and watch them turn purple. Fun for the whole family!</p> <p>The second reason is more complicated, but more relevant. In the book Cryptonomicon, the character Enoch Root (a retired Catholic priest) explains the spirit of Athena to Randy Waterhouse (while they’re in prison together). You can <a href="https://akkartik.name/post/athena-ares">read the interchange here</a>. Enoch’s point is that regardless if whether a spiritual being named Athena ever existed, her attributes have in the past and still to this day exist in people. A strong interest in war and technology let’s say. Except Athena’s war weapon is a shield.</p> <p>Ares is the actual god of war, and his war weapon is a sword. So if you look at two military people today, you could say one exhibits the spirit of Athena (defend the poor) whilst the other exhibits the spirit of Ares (nuke’em!)</p> <p>But back to Jesus. I would suggest that even people who don’t believe that Jesus is the Son of God would accept that he was a Good Person, or maybe not have existed, and in a literature sense, perhaps the best person ever.</p> <p>Compare that Jesus to Donald Trump if you will.</p> <h2 class="wp-block-heading">Part Four: But Jesus Was Perfect!</h2> <p>I can already hear the whataboutism roaring from the back. What about Biden? He’s no Jesus. What about Harris? Clinton? Reagan? Everyone everywhere ever?</p> <p>You’re right, none of us is Jesus, nor could come close to being as perfect as He.</p> <p>That said, MOST people I’ve known in my life at least TRY to be Good. I have yet to see Trump try to be Good in any way. I’ve seen him do good actions, but they were always blatantly in his self interest, and if they had not, he would not have done them.</p> <p>And this is why I say Trump exhibits the spirit of antichrist, and I can’t support him and look Jesus in the eye when I pray.</p><p>The post <a href="https://topher1kenobe.com/donald-trump-and-the-spirit-of-antichrist/">Donald Trump And The Spirit Of Antichrist</a> appeared first on <a href="https://topher1kenobe.com">As it were...</a>.</p>]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://topher1kenobe.com/donald-trump-and-the-spirit-of-antichrist/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>4</slash:comments> <enclosure url="https://topher1kenobe.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/Donald_Trump_53910429112-1024x683.jpg" length="64131" type="image/jpeg" /> </item> <item> <title>Zombie</title> <link>https://topher1kenobe.com/zombie/</link> <comments>https://topher1kenobe.com/zombie/#comments</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[topher]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Sun, 05 May 2024 23:06:55 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Music Review]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://topher1kenobe.com/?p=3198</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>In which I discuss an important song.</p><p>The post <a href="https://topher1kenobe.com/zombie/">Zombie</a> appeared first on <a href="https://topher1kenobe.com">As it were...</a>.</p>]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>The song Zombie by The Cranberries is, in my opinion, one of the most important songs of the 20th century, and there’s a strong case for the twenty first as well.</p> <p>It’s a protest song inspired by the death of two little boys in England. Certain parts of the Irish community thought that they only way to get freedom from England was to kill as many English as possible. They placed a bomb, and Johnathan Ball, aged 3, and Tim Parry, aged 12, were killed in the attack. 56 people were injured. I’m already getting emotional just writing that.</p> <p><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dolores_O%27Riordan">Dolores O’Riordan</a> was an Irish singer watching this happen, and it broke her heart, so she wrote the song Zombie.</p> <p>The BBC banned the song, because they didn’t want to hear anything from those dirty Irish. That’s nearly as heartbreaking as the act itself.</p> <h2 class="wp-block-heading">The Original Video</h2> <figure class="wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio"><div class="wp-block-embed__wrapper"><iframe title="The Cranberries - Zombie (Official Music Video)" width="640" height="360" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/6Ejga4kJUts?feature=oembed" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share" referrerpolicy="strict-origin-when-cross-origin" allowfullscreen></iframe></div></figure> <p>Dolores is incomparable, and irreplaceable. People can mimic her, but no-one will ever be her. </p> <p>The scenery from this video is soldiers walking amongst ruins, with children playing at being soldiers around them. This footage is not staged, it’s from a journalist who went to Northern Ireland to make a record of what was happening there. Please watch it.</p> <h2 class="wp-block-heading">A Reaction</h2> <figure class="wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio"><div class="wp-block-embed__wrapper"><iframe title="Vocal Coach Reacts to ZOMBIE - The Cranberries (Vocal Analysis)" width="640" height="360" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/rpwEz8vxA6Y?feature=oembed" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share" referrerpolicy="strict-origin-when-cross-origin" allowfullscreen></iframe></div></figure> <p>The Fairy Godmother does a lot of a video reactions, mostly from an educational standpoint as a musician. But she and I share a lot of the same feelings. Watch this one too.</p> <h2 class="wp-block-heading">Leo Moracchioli</h2> <figure class="wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio"><div class="wp-block-embed__wrapper"><iframe title="Zombie (metal cover by Leo Moracchioli)" width="640" height="360" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/ahhNuopGMEk?feature=oembed" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share" referrerpolicy="strict-origin-when-cross-origin" allowfullscreen></iframe></div></figure> <p>Leo makes metal covers of songs. He’s outrageously good at it, playing all the instruments, singing, and producing. His version of Zombie might be my favorite, because it’s the angriest. It’s loud, it’s hard, and it’s angry. Dolores was hurt. Leo is angry.</p> <p>When I was in college I played bass guitar, and several times played this song. Every time we played it got louder and harder the longer we played. Bass is usually plucked, but I always ended up with a big fat pick, and i would hit the strings harder and harder, hammering on it, pounding on it, hitting the chords as hard as I possibly could, with the guitar and amp both turned up all the way. Screaming into the void.</p> <h2 class="wp-block-heading">The Bad Wolves Version</h2> <figure class="wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio"><div class="wp-block-embed__wrapper"><iframe title="Bad Wolves - Zombie (Official Video)" width="640" height="360" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/9XaS93WMRQQ?feature=oembed" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share" referrerpolicy="strict-origin-when-cross-origin" allowfullscreen></iframe></div></figure> <p>Bad Wolves was a metal band, and they wanted to remake the song with Dolores as the singer. The night before they were set to record she died.</p> <p>The decided to go ahead with the song, having their lead singer sing it. But they added in the spirit of Dolores in such a special way. A woman covered in gold just like Dolores was in the original walks toward the band, and is stopped by a piece of glass. She puts her hand on it, and the singer puts his hands on the other side, and she spends the rest of the song covering the glass in gold until we can’t see her anymore, she’s gone. </p> <p>Bad Wolves gave all the proceeds of the song to Dolores’ children.</p> <h2 class="wp-block-heading">The End</h2> <p>Leo’s version is my favorite because it matches my soul. I’m angry the way Jesus would be angry at justifying the killing of children.</p> <p>That said, the agony in Dolores’ voice will forever pull at my heart. The agony of a mother, of an Irish person, of a human being.</p> <p>And the respect paid by Bad Wolves is top notch. Seeing how they represented Dolores while she was gone is priceless.</p> <p>Please watch the songs in the order shown above. Be angry about war.</p><p>The post <a href="https://topher1kenobe.com/zombie/">Zombie</a> appeared first on <a href="https://topher1kenobe.com">As it were...</a>.</p>]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://topher1kenobe.com/zombie/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>1</slash:comments> <enclosure url="https://topher1kenobe.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/CleanShot-2024-05-05-at-18.35.34@2x-1024x505.png" length="355644" type="image/png" /> </item> <item> <title>The Power Of A Sincere Apology</title> <link>https://topher1kenobe.com/the-power-of-a-sincere-apology/</link> <comments>https://topher1kenobe.com/the-power-of-a-sincere-apology/#comments</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[topher]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Fri, 16 Feb 2024 15:01:07 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[General Post]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://topher1kenobe.com/?p=3191</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>In which I write about the first time I ever really apologized for something important.</p><p>The post <a href="https://topher1kenobe.com/the-power-of-a-sincere-apology/">The Power Of A Sincere Apology</a> appeared first on <a href="https://topher1kenobe.com">As it were...</a>.</p>]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>About two months into my freshman year at college I was sitting at the breakfast table one morning. Someone else was there, I don’t remember who, because we were both silently trying to stay awake during breakfast.</p> <p>Soon Deb came and sat with us. It was a very small school, so everyone knew everyone, but we weren’t close. We all exchanged pleasantries and then the other person said </p> <p>“How was your doctor’s appointment, Deb?”</p> <p>“Fine I guess, we did a bunch of tests, and I don’t have the results back yet” she said.</p> <p>As a joke I said “Are you going to die?”</p> <p>She sat quietly for few seconds and said “Maybe” and got up and moved to another table.</p> <p>Ohhhhh man. I felt so low I could have walked under a snake without bending over. Wow.</p> <p>We went to the same class just a few minutes later. In class I wrote her a note, old school style. I told her that what I’d said was really insensitive and thoughtless, and I was very sorry. I asked her to forgive me. Then I folded it really small and had my classmates pass it to her. Old school style.</p> <p>Knowing her as I did I expected a “Thanks” and little more. She didn’t owe me anything.</p> <p>After class she came to me in tears. No-one had ever apologized to her for anything before. Not for real. I had hurt her, but because of the way I handled it SHE was grateful to ME!</p> <p>This blew my mind a little bit. I felt like I had done something so small in apologizing. Truly, a little note felt like the bare minimum, but what an impact!</p> <p>That’s when I learned what a big deal it is for people when someone who hurt them is truly apologetic and compassionate. It really heals.</p><p>The post <a href="https://topher1kenobe.com/the-power-of-a-sincere-apology/">The Power Of A Sincere Apology</a> appeared first on <a href="https://topher1kenobe.com">As it were...</a>.</p>]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://topher1kenobe.com/the-power-of-a-sincere-apology/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>1</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>Fifteen Years Without My Mom</title> <link>https://topher1kenobe.com/fifteen-years-without-my-mom/</link> <comments>https://topher1kenobe.com/fifteen-years-without-my-mom/#comments</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[topher]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Wed, 14 Feb 2024 08:00:00 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[My Mom]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://topher1kenobe.com/?p=3188</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>In which I talk about my mom, 15 years after her death.</p><p>The post <a href="https://topher1kenobe.com/fifteen-years-without-my-mom/">Fifteen Years Without My Mom</a> appeared first on <a href="https://topher1kenobe.com">As it were...</a>.</p>]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Fifteen years ago, at 3am on Valentine’s Day, my dad held my mom’s hand while she passed away. She’d had brain cancer and surgeries and hadn’t been communicative in a long time. While it wasn’t a surprise, she hung on so long that it kind of was a surprise.</p> <p>My dad called me in the morning and told me. We were already driving up for my brother-in-law’s funeral, he died only a few days before she did. It was a hard weekend.</p> <p>As a Christian I’m confident she’s in heaven, but at the same time, I can’t really imagine heaven for her being better than walking down a quiet road in her beloved forest holding the hand of a grand daughter.</p><p>The post <a href="https://topher1kenobe.com/fifteen-years-without-my-mom/">Fifteen Years Without My Mom</a> appeared first on <a href="https://topher1kenobe.com">As it were...</a>.</p>]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://topher1kenobe.com/fifteen-years-without-my-mom/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>1</slash:comments> <enclosure url="https://topher1kenobe.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/02/anne_and_granddaughter_walking-1024x671.webp" length="57232" type="image/webp" /> </item> <item> <title>Untitled Post About Grandpa</title> <link>https://topher1kenobe.com/untitled-post-about-grandpa/</link> <comments>https://topher1kenobe.com/untitled-post-about-grandpa/#comments</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[topher]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Sat, 10 Feb 2024 16:07:21 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Family]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://topher1kenobe.com/?p=3176</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>In which I talk about my Grandpa and the one time I was asked to care for his body.</p><p>The post <a href="https://topher1kenobe.com/untitled-post-about-grandpa/">Untitled Post About Grandpa</a> appeared first on <a href="https://topher1kenobe.com">As it were...</a>.</p>]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I had a really hard time titling this post. It’s mostly about a specific event that happened, but I need to give a lot of back story for it to make sense. So I chose to not title it.</p> <p>Before I was born my Grandpa was diagnosed with <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Multiple_sclerosis">Multiple Sclerosis</a>. Some of my earliest memories of him are him wheeling his electric wheelchair up behind his simpler wheelchair and using it as a brace to stand up and exercise his legs. He couldn’t walk, but he could put weight on them.</p> <p>As a military veteran he was well taken care of by the Army. He had one of the first electric wheelchairs. In the header of this post his was very very like the one on the right. On the left you can see it being invented. He had racing stickers on the side, and it was my task to dust it, and keep it shiny.</p> <p>I mentioned he had a simpler chair, it was a very standard hospital chair. We used to play on it all the time. He also had a what I’ll call a bathroom chair. It had a plastic seat with a hole in the center and he used it both for showering and when he needed a toilet.</p> <p>They had a cool crane-like system for moving him from chair to chair and into and out of bed. It’s not exactly like this picture, but similar. There was a cloth strap that went under his legs/hips and another behind his back. Then there was a handle we would pump to raise him up and then it was on wheels, so we could move him wherever we wanted. Of course the grandkids played with that a lot too.</p> <figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img decoding="async" width="850" height="612" src="https://topher1kenobe.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/02/Need-a-sling-for-wheelchair-transfer-find-the-right-one-for-your-hoist-850x612-1-jpg.webp" alt="Sling to move people" class="wp-image-3180" srcset="https://topher1kenobe.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/02/Need-a-sling-for-wheelchair-transfer-find-the-right-one-for-your-hoist-850x612-1-jpg.webp 850w, https://topher1kenobe.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/02/Need-a-sling-for-wheelchair-transfer-find-the-right-one-for-your-hoist-850x612-1-300x216.webp 300w, https://topher1kenobe.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/02/Need-a-sling-for-wheelchair-transfer-find-the-right-one-for-your-hoist-850x612-1-236x170.webp 236w, https://topher1kenobe.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/02/Need-a-sling-for-wheelchair-transfer-find-the-right-one-for-your-hoist-850x612-1-300x216@2x.webp 600w" sizes="(max-width: 850px) 100vw, 850px" /></figure> <p>It’s not really germane to this post, but I would be remiss if I didn’t note that there was also an elevator in the house. Not a commercial one, a custom made one. The tube was made of wood, and there was a big motor hanging from the ceiling from a chain. When you got in the elevator box (also wood) there were ropes on either side, and you simply had to pull a little on one to go up and the other to go down. </p> <p>His wheel-in shower was in the basement. I loved showering in there, it was HUGE. At age 10 I could literally run around in the shower.</p> <h2 class="wp-block-heading">The Main Part Of The Post</h2> <p>When I was about 10 years old one time I was spending a week at Grandma’s. I was sitting at the kitchen table doing something, and she was at the sink. Then she said “Chris, Grandpa is on his toilet, he’s just had a BM and needs to be wiped. I need to be here, will you please go take care of it.”</p> <p>I had never before been asked to care for him in any way. I didn’t move him, feed him, clean him or anything. Except for greeting and goodbye hugs, I never touched him. </p> <p>This was an extreme pivot.</p> <p>Since You Don’t Say No To Grandma, I said “Sure” and started down the hall to Grandpa’s room. </p> <p>I’d like to take a moment to talk about Grandpa’s nature, mental acuity etc. I never saw him be anything but kind, to every single person he ever met. He was super smart, and as far as I know retained his mental faculties until he died. He loved to teach us things. I suspect it pained him that he didn’t have the body to DO things with us. He loved audio stuff, so he built radios, and collected Edison players etc. He would give me old machines and tell me to tear them apart and understand them. I know he wished he could do it with me, but he always made the best of what he had.</p> <p>So I walked into his room. He was on his bathroom chair, pants around his ankles. He didn’t express any embarrassment at all. Maybe he didn’t feel any because this was old hat for him. Maybe he hid it to make me feel better. That would have been like him.</p> <p>The chair was mostly like a normal wheelchair, with a hole in the seat and a plastic pan 6 or 8 inches below that. He told he how to reach in from the side with a handful of toilet paper. I peeked in there so I wasn’t just reaching in blind, but it was very dark. </p> <p>I had never seen a butt before. The only one available to me on a regular basis was my own, and I’ve never been able to twist enough to see my own butt. I knew from wiping myself where poop comes out, but I had never SEEN it before, especially from the side. I saw something that looked like it should be wiped, so I reached and wiped it all carefully. I came to understand years later (literally) that what I saw was his tailbone. Those of you who HAVE tail bones may think through this and realize I did a terrible job. He couldn’t feel anything, so he couldn’t tell.</p> <p>Then he said “Please take a few more sheets of toilet paper and dab the end of my penis, there’s often a few drops left over. If I had the use of my hands I’d simply give it a good shake”.</p> <p>Again, it wasn’t until years later than I understood that he was trying to teach me something about being a Penis Haver. Passing on Grandpa Wisdom to his grandson. Giving it a good shake at the end is what you do.</p> <p>Anyway, I wrapped up and went back to the kitchen and told Grandma I was done, and she went in and finished whatever else needed to be done.</p> <p>This even never happened again, nor was it discussed or talked about in any way. I wasn’t critiqued on my butt wiping skill, I wasn’t asked how I felt about having done it, nothing at all. I suspect no-one but the three of us ever knew it happened until I wrote this post.</p> <p>I didn’t really feel anything strongly about it. I was prepared to become a more active care giver if that’s what was asked, but it never was. I don’t know the real reason I was asked that one time. Was it a test? Maybe.</p> <p>There’s a very unique level of intimacy and trust involved when caring for the body of another human being when they are completely helpless. Whether it’s a baby, an old person, or someone whose body simply doesn’t work for them. Helping them maintain dignity and respect is the job of the care giver, because they hold all the power.</p> <p>Grandpa was never anything but kind, and I was ready to return it in that unique way if it was asked. It just never was.</p><p>The post <a href="https://topher1kenobe.com/untitled-post-about-grandpa/">Untitled Post About Grandpa</a> appeared first on <a href="https://topher1kenobe.com">As it were...</a>.</p>]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://topher1kenobe.com/untitled-post-about-grandpa/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>1</slash:comments> </item> </channel></rss> If you would like to create a banner that links to this page (i.e. this validation result), do the following:
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