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  15. <description>&#34;Football&#039;s not a matter of life or death. It&#039;s much more self-important than that&#34;</description>
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  32. <title>An open letter to @lookalikesfball</title>
  33. <link>https://fistedaway.wordpress.com/2015/10/02/an-open-letter-to-lookalikesfball/</link>
  34. <comments>https://fistedaway.wordpress.com/2015/10/02/an-open-letter-to-lookalikesfball/#respond</comments>
  36. <dc:creator><![CDATA[NickDunmore]]></dc:creator>
  37. <pubDate>Fri, 02 Oct 2015 10:10:42 +0000</pubDate>
  38. <category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
  39. <category><![CDATA[Diego Costa]]></category>
  40. <category><![CDATA[Gareth Bale]]></category>
  41. <category><![CDATA[Jamie Vardy]]></category>
  42. <category><![CDATA[Jürgen Klopp]]></category>
  43. <category><![CDATA[Ola Toivoinen]]></category>
  44. <category><![CDATA[plagiarism]]></category>
  45. <category><![CDATA[Ross Barkley]]></category>
  46. <category><![CDATA[Sean Dyche]]></category>
  47. <category><![CDATA[Steve Claridge]]></category>
  48. <category><![CDATA[Thibaut Courtois]]></category>
  49. <category><![CDATA[Tim Sherwood]]></category>
  50. <category><![CDATA[Twitter]]></category>
  51. <guid isPermaLink="false">http://fistedaway.wordpress.com/?p=3110</guid>
  52.  
  53. <description><![CDATA[It&#8217;s not really an open letter this, but people seem to like them as a format &#8211; so just pretend, ok? So, the other week we got tipped off that the concept for our other Twitter account @FTBL_Likealooks had been copied by @Lookalikesfball. I&#8217;d have presumed that it was an accident and given them the benefit of [&#8230;]]]></description>
  54. <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2015/10/12046948_1054018291305540_1437575899229685902_n.png"><img data-attachment-id="3367" data-permalink="https://fistedaway.wordpress.com/2015/10/02/an-open-letter-to-lookalikesfball/12046948_1054018291305540_1437575899229685902_n/" data-orig-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2015/10/12046948_1054018291305540_1437575899229685902_n.png" data-orig-size="839,418" data-comments-opened="1" data-image-meta="{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}" data-image-title="12046948_1054018291305540_1437575899229685902_n" data-image-description="" data-image-caption="" data-medium-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2015/10/12046948_1054018291305540_1437575899229685902_n.png?w=300" data-large-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2015/10/12046948_1054018291305540_1437575899229685902_n.png?w=500" class="aligncenter size-large wp-image-3367" src="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2015/10/12046948_1054018291305540_1437575899229685902_n.png?w=500&#038;h=249" alt="Football Likealooks cover " width="500" height="249" srcset="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2015/10/12046948_1054018291305540_1437575899229685902_n.png?w=500 500w, https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2015/10/12046948_1054018291305540_1437575899229685902_n.png?w=150 150w, https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2015/10/12046948_1054018291305540_1437575899229685902_n.png?w=300 300w, https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2015/10/12046948_1054018291305540_1437575899229685902_n.png?w=768 768w, https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2015/10/12046948_1054018291305540_1437575899229685902_n.png 839w" sizes="(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px" /></a></p>
  55. <p><em>It&#8217;s not really an open letter this, but people seem to like them as a format &#8211; so just pretend, ok?</em></p>
  56. <p>So, the other week we got tipped off that the concept for our other Twitter account <a href="https://twitter.com/FTBL_Likealooks" target="_blank">@FTBL_Likealooks</a> had been copied by <a href="https://twitter.com/lookalikesfball" target="_blank">@Lookalikesfball</a>.</p>
  57. <p>I&#8217;d have presumed that it was an accident and given them the benefit of the doubt, but the subsequent tweet stealing, mass account following, Facebook-squatting &#8211; and a truly bizarre defence when confronted &#8211; have shown that this is fully intentional.</p>
  58. <h2><strong>The history</strong></h2>
  59. <p>We started Football Likealooks in March 2014. It was born out of game that me and Fisted Away co-founder Rob liked to play while watching football- blurting out what we think people look like if they weren&#8217;t footballers, just people. During one particularly rewarding Match of the Day, we came up with a name, found all the ones we&#8217;d already tweeted through <a href="http://twitter.com/fistedaway" target="_blank">@FistedAway</a> and began tweeting them out under the new account.</p>
  60. <div class="embed-twitter">
  61. <blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-width="500" data-dnt="true">
  62. <p lang="en" dir="ltr">Manuel Pellegrini looks like a medieval pope. One you&#39;d have to kill on Assassin&#39;s Creed.</p>
  63. <p>&mdash; Football Likealooks (@FTBL_Likealooks) <a href="https://twitter.com/FTBL_Likealooks/status/443800548543057920?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">March 12, 2014</a></p></blockquote>
  64. <p><script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div>
  65. <p>We&#8217;ve been plugging away since then, getting though a World Cup and a whole football season. The best part has been people sending stuff to us, and retweeting them. There&#8217;s been over a thousand now. It&#8217;s created a whole new football parallel universe for me. I can&#8217;t look at Ola Toivoinen without <a href="https://twitter.com/tomvictor/status/643039207372517376" target="_blank">imagining his Ibiza hit</a>. I can&#8217;t read about Jürgen Klopp without picturing him <a href="https://twitter.com/AlexLane91/status/563327182630838274" target="_blank">trying to sleep with his film studies students</a>. I worry about how Thibaut Courtois <a href="https://twitter.com/wosavage/status/510125629459943425" target="_blank">will do at parents&#8217; evening</a>.</p>
  66. <h2><strong>The Thievery</strong></h2>
  67. <p>Last Thursday, some of our followers tweeted to ask us if we&#8217;d seen that @lookalikesfball had copied our idea. By this point, they&#8217;d done roughly 20 tweets and followed nearly 2,000 accounts. They&#8217;d also made a Facebook page with the URL /footballlikealooks (since changed). Our term.</p>
  68. <p>Hmm. HMMMM.</p>
  69. <p>If this wasn&#8217;t suspicious enough behaviour, it turned out that they&#8217;d done one of the worst things you can do on the internet &#8211; they had copied stacks of other people&#8217;s tweets.</p>
  70. <p><strong>Tim Sherwood</strong></p>
  71. <p><a href="https://twitter.com/conroy_bumpus/status/568157726339158016" rel="nofollow">https://twitter.com/conroy_bumpus/status/568157726339158016</a></p>
  72. <p><a href="https://twitter.com/lookalikesfball/status/642099967184793601" rel="nofollow">https://twitter.com/lookalikesfball/status/642099967184793601</a></p>
  73. <p><strong><br />
  74. Jamie Vardy</strong></p>
  75. <p><a href="https://twitter.com/AlexLane91/status/640601245108019200" rel="nofollow">https://twitter.com/AlexLane91/status/640601245108019200</a></p>
  76. <p><a href="https://twitter.com/lookalikesfball/status/642639084264026112" rel="nofollow">https://twitter.com/lookalikesfball/status/642639084264026112</a></p>
  77. <p><strong><br />
  78. Gareth Bale</strong></p>
  79. <div class="embed-twitter">
  80. <blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-width="500" data-dnt="true">
  81. <p lang="en" dir="ltr">Before and after a gap year, which involves a stay in Goa. <a href="http://t.co/3sF6WmzM6Z">pic.twitter.com/3sF6WmzM6Z</a></p>
  82. <p>&mdash; Nooruddean (@BeardedGenius) <a href="https://twitter.com/BeardedGenius/status/635236123963457536?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 22, 2015</a></p></blockquote>
  83. <p><script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div>
  84. <p><a href="https://twitter.com/lookalikesfball/status/642260408557019136" rel="nofollow">https://twitter.com/lookalikesfball/status/642260408557019136</a></p>
  85. <p>(bonus points here for making one picture using a phone screengrab of the two pictures from @BeardedGenius&#8217; tweet!)</p>
  86. <p><strong><br />
  87. Sean Dyche</strong></p>
  88. <p><a href="https://twitter.com/StevenCarter89/status/510932252617084928" rel="nofollow">https://twitter.com/StevenCarter89/status/510932252617084928</a></p>
  89. <p><a href="https://twitter.com/lookalikesfball/status/644115008364916736" rel="nofollow">https://twitter.com/lookalikesfball/status/644115008364916736</a></p>
  90. <p><strong><br />
  91. Steve Claridge</strong></p>
  92. <p><a href="https://twitter.com/StevenCarter89/status/531134196669231104" rel="nofollow">https://twitter.com/StevenCarter89/status/531134196669231104</a></p>
  93. <p><a href="https://twitter.com/lookalikesfball/status/644954386582646784" rel="nofollow">https://twitter.com/lookalikesfball/status/644954386582646784</a></p>
  94. <p>(NB &#8211; Hey, is @StevenCarter89 the kingpin here? That&#8217;s two whole tweets!)</p>
  95. <p><strong><br />
  96. Jordan Henderson</strong></p>
  97. <p><a href="https://twitter.com/jhrz32/status/579011394386935808" rel="nofollow">https://twitter.com/jhrz32/status/579011394386935808</a></p>
  98. <p><a href="https://twitter.com/lookalikesfball/status/645200037388124160" rel="nofollow">https://twitter.com/lookalikesfball/status/645200037388124160</a></p>
  99. <p><strong><br />
  100. Diego Costa</strong></p>
  101. <div class="embed-twitter">
  102. <blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-width="500" data-dnt="true">
  103. <p lang="en" dir="ltr">Diego Costa looks like he should be being chased by Dog the Bounty Hunter</p>
  104. <p>&mdash; Craig Hughes (@hughes2403) <a href="https://twitter.com/hughes2403/status/645492165179781120?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 20, 2015</a></p></blockquote>
  105. <p><script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div>
  106. <p><a href="https://twitter.com/lookalikesfball/status/645960720308400128" rel="nofollow">https://twitter.com/lookalikesfball/status/645960720308400128</a></p>
  107. <p><strong><br />
  108. Ross Barkley</strong></p>
  109. <div class="embed-twitter">
  110. <blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-width="500" data-dnt="true">
  111. <p lang="en" dir="ltr">At least we can take heart in the fact that Ross Barkley looks like he&#39;d have a nosebleed if he tried to do a simple sudoku. <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/SaintsFC?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#SaintsFC</a></p>
  112. <p>&mdash; Ed Johnson (@EdTVee) <a href="https://twitter.com/EdTVee/status/632548085638541312?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 15, 2015</a></p></blockquote>
  113. <p><script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div>
  114. <p><a href="https://twitter.com/lookalikesfball/status/648566725722677249" rel="nofollow">https://twitter.com/lookalikesfball/status/648566725722677249</a></p>
  115. <p>VICTIMS OF CRIME: if one of your tweets is in the list above, <a href="https://support.twitter.com/forms/dmca" target="_blank">here&#8217;s how to report it as stolen</a>.</p>
  116. <h2><strong>The barney</strong></h2>
  117. <p>Feeling pretty irked by all this, I decided to go on the offensive:</p>
  118. <div class="embed-twitter">
  119. <blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-width="500" data-dnt="true">
  120. <p lang="en" dir="ltr">.@lookalikesfball great <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/content?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#content</a> guys! What a brilliant and innovative idea for a Twitter account.</p>
  121. <p>&mdash; Football Likealooks (@FTBL_Likealooks) <a href="https://twitter.com/FTBL_Likealooks/status/647148335258804224?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 24, 2015</a></p></blockquote>
  122. <p><script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div>
  123. <p>In case you can&#8217;t tell, I&#8217;m being sarcastic.</p>
  124. <p>Not a peep. So I got more offensive</p>
  125. <div class="embed-twitter">
  126. <blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-width="500" data-dnt="true">
  127. <p lang="en" dir="ltr">Hi everyone! Just want to make it super clear that @lookalikesfball is a shameless copy of this account. So you know, fuck those guys.</p>
  128. <p>&mdash; Football Likealooks (@FTBL_Likealooks) <a href="https://twitter.com/FTBL_Likealooks/status/647348060591398912?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 25, 2015</a></p></blockquote>
  129. <p><script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div>
  130. <p>Three days later &#8211; an ice age by Twitter standards &#8211; I finally got a response. And what a response it was!</p>
  131. <div class="embed-twitter">
  132. <blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-width="500" data-dnt="true">
  133. <p lang="en" dir="ltr"><a href="https://twitter.com/FTBL_Likealooks?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@FTBL_Likealooks</a> @GregStanley1994  By your logic, competitors aren&#39;t allowed to exist. Stop being such cry babies.</p>
  134. <p>&mdash; In The Mixer (@PutItInTheMixer) <a href="https://twitter.com/PutItInTheMixer/status/648482609639591937?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 28, 2015</a></p></blockquote>
  135. <p><script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div>
  136. <p>Perhaps it was quoting Khruschev that did it. It&#8217;s bizarre being an adult and getting called a cry baby by someone who is also, presumably, an adult. Bizarre.</p>
  137. <p>Once I&#8217;d wiped away my tiny tears, I responded in the only way I know how: <a href="https://twitter.com/FTBL_Likealooks/status/648497244728127488" target="_blank">talking about my ass</a>.  Who wouldn&#8217;t?</p>
  138. <p>Still, it has been heartening to see some of the regular tweeters also denouncing them: &#8220;<a href="https://twitter.com/DiscoDean7/status/647340517890629633" target="_blank">get your own ideas</a>&#8230;<a href="https://twitter.com/Thomas_W_Wright/status/647380976813916160" target="_blank">shite copy</a>&#8230;<a href="https://twitter.com/cmg62/status/647359748430524416" target="_blank">shameless</a>&#8230;<a href="https://twitter.com/elmartino_thfc/status/642312894827380736" target="_blank">tweet stealer</a>&#8221;</p>
  139. <h2><strong>The&#8230;conclusion?</strong></h2>
  140. <p>I don&#8217;t know what I&#8217;ve learned.</p>
  141. <p>I&#8217;d like to think that whoever is behind @lookalikesfball would feel suitably shamed by everything to just give it up. To whoever is running the account &#8211; dude, you&#8217;re <em>always</em> welcome to tweet us ideas from your own account (&#8230;and your own brain). I genuinely really liked that Martial / Mark Ronson one!</p>
  142. <p>I find it head-spinning that @lookalikesfball are classing themselves as &#8220;competition&#8221;. But competition for..what, though? We don&#8217;t make any money out of this. Does a retweet make you&#8230;feel things? Does a retweet for something you stole make you feel anything?</p>
  143. <p>I&#8217;m eagerly awaiting the cool, &#8220;seen-it-all-before-mate&#8221; people coming up to tell me &#8211; &#8220;hey, it&#8217;s the internet BUDDY &#8211; stuff gets stolen all the time&#8221;.</p>
  144. <p>Yes! That&#8217;s true. It does! <em>But</em>, as it&#8217;s the internet EVERYONE can find exactly WHO you stole it from, and WHEN.</p>
  145. <p>You can now <a href="https://support.twitter.com/forms/dmca" target="_blank">report tweets to Twitter</a>. The Fat Jew <a href="http://www.rollingstone.com/culture/news/the-fat-jew-joke-theft-victims-speak-out-20150820" target="_blank">lost his tv show</a>. There&#8217;s a joke that Joe Pasquale <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0YE9Kthyaco" target="_blank">cannot steal</a>. And we all know that Carlos Mencia&#8217;s <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fKIvdr2InmM" target="_blank">dick don&#8217;t work</a>.</p>
  146. <h2>The future?</h2>
  147. <p>We&#8217;re going to keep doing likealooks, because 1) we like it, 2) other people seem to like it, and 3) it makes watching even bad games of football more fun.</p>
  148. <p>And I&#8217;m going to keep calling out plagiarism, because people should be recognised for their ideas and jokes. As we don&#8217;t make anything from this, there&#8217;s nothing to lose.</p>
  149. <p>Also, I&#8217;m probably going to keep dicking around with @lookalikesfball. I&#8217;ve got Khruschev quotes and jokes about my ass for DAYS.</p>
  150. <p><img class="aligncenter" src="https://i0.wp.com/i.giphy.com/rq47PJe34Dj4k.gif" alt="" width="480" height="270" /></p>
  151. ]]></content:encoded>
  153. <wfw:commentRss>https://fistedaway.wordpress.com/2015/10/02/an-open-letter-to-lookalikesfball/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
  154. <slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
  158. <media:content url="https://0.gravatar.com/avatar/079e152d37075e3d933bcc3b9096a3ae0cf605c39cb0c71767756fc18563321d?s=96&#38;d=https%3A%2F%2F0.gravatar.com%2Favatar%2Fad516503a11cd5ca435acc9bb6523536%3Fs%3D96" medium="image">
  159. <media:title type="html">NickDunmore</media:title>
  160. </media:content>
  161.  
  162. <media:content url="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2015/10/12046948_1054018291305540_1437575899229685902_n.png?w=500" medium="image">
  163. <media:title type="html">Football Likealooks cover </media:title>
  164. </media:content>
  165.  
  166. <media:content url="http://i.giphy.com/rq47PJe34Dj4k.gif" medium="image" />
  167. </item>
  168. <item>
  169. <title>Man finds likeness of Alex Ferguson in a wine stain</title>
  170. <link>https://fistedaway.wordpress.com/2013/09/04/man-finds-likeness-of-alex-ferguson-in-a-wine-stain/</link>
  171. <comments>https://fistedaway.wordpress.com/2013/09/04/man-finds-likeness-of-alex-ferguson-in-a-wine-stain/#respond</comments>
  173. <dc:creator><![CDATA[NickDunmore]]></dc:creator>
  174. <pubDate>Wed, 04 Sep 2013 21:42:17 +0000</pubDate>
  175. <category><![CDATA[Guestpostery]]></category>
  176. <category><![CDATA[Alex Ferguson]]></category>
  177. <category><![CDATA[Liverpool]]></category>
  178. <category><![CDATA[Manchester United]]></category>
  179. <category><![CDATA[MUTV]]></category>
  180. <category><![CDATA[Old Trafford]]></category>
  181. <category><![CDATA[Phil Jones]]></category>
  182. <category><![CDATA[Ryan Giggs]]></category>
  183. <category><![CDATA[Wayne Rooney]]></category>
  184. <guid isPermaLink="false">http://fistedaway.wordpress.com/?p=3344</guid>
  185.  
  186. <description><![CDATA[::: FistedAway welcomes a guest post from Webbie, who runs the original – and still the best &#8211; Football and Music ::: [TV anchor] &#8220;And finally a curiosity item from Walsall in the West Midlands where a dedicated Manchester United fan claims to have found the likeness of Sir Alex Ferguson, the former Manchester United manager, now [&#8230;]]]></description>
  187. <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/09/fergiewine.png"><img data-attachment-id="3345" data-permalink="https://fistedaway.wordpress.com/2013/09/04/man-finds-likeness-of-alex-ferguson-in-a-wine-stain/fergiewine/" data-orig-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/09/fergiewine.png" data-orig-size="604,764" data-comments-opened="1" data-image-meta="{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;}" data-image-title="Fergie Wine" data-image-description="" data-image-caption="" data-medium-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/09/fergiewine.png?w=237" data-large-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/09/fergiewine.png?w=500" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-3345" alt="Fergie Wine" src="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/09/fergiewine.png?w=500&#038;h=632" width="500" height="632" srcset="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/09/fergiewine.png?w=500&amp;h=632 500w, https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/09/fergiewine.png?w=119&amp;h=150 119w, https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/09/fergiewine.png?w=237&amp;h=300 237w, https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/09/fergiewine.png 604w" sizes="(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px" /></a></p>
  188. <h5 style="text-align:center;"><em>::: FistedAway welcomes a guest post from Webbie,<br />
  189. who runs the original – and still the best &#8211; <a title="Football and Music" href="http://www.footballandmusic.co.uk/" target="_blank">Football and Music</a> :::</em></h5>
  190. <p>[TV anchor] &#8220;And finally a curiosity item from Walsall in the West Midlands where a dedicated Manchester United fan claims to have found the likeness of Sir Alex Ferguson, the former Manchester United manager, now a director at the club, in a wine stain. We go over live to our junior reporter Brett Silverton to investigate&#8230;.&#8221;</p>
  191. <p><em>[SWITCH TO OUTSIDE BROADCAST]</em></p>
  192. <p>[Reporter] &#8220;Daryl Nonentity is not your average consumer, not by any means. This mailroom operative is a dedicated fan who himself confesses to be an obsessive on the one subject. That subject being the football team Manchester United.</p>
  193. <p>Over the years Daryl has watched every match on his vintage Sharp 24&#8221; television. (He wants to get a flatscreen TV but refuses to upgrade until Manchester United partner with another television manufacturer). He has bought every Manchester United endorsed product, from Epson fax machines to Toshiba heart monitors (!). His diet is a strict one of Man United official partner items, mostly beverages such as Smirnoff vodka, Thai beer and the occasional can of <a title="Guardian | Manchester United's many money-spinning commercial deals – in pictures" href="http://www.theguardian.com/football/gallery/2013/aug/09/manchester-united-financial-sector#/?picture=414072993&amp;index=11" target="_blank">imported Kagome tomato juice</a>.</p>
  194. <p>Daryl does not look well.&#8221;</p>
  195. <div align="center"><img style="padding:10px;" title="MU Bedroom" alt="MU Bedroom" src="https://i0.wp.com/i.imgur.com/UZuAfYM.jpg" border="0" /></div>
  196. <p>&#8220;His house, as you may have guessed is painted all in red with tins of <a title="Guardian | Manchester United's many money-spinning commercial deals – in pictures" href="http://www.theguardian.com/football/gallery/2013/aug/09/manchester-united-financial-sector#/?picture=414072996&amp;index=17" target="_blank">Kansai paint</a>, shipped in from Africa. This has got him into disputes with his neighbours and the local council though, but Daryl remains steadfast and is determined to add the Manchester United club crest on the roof sometime this summer.</p>
  197. <p>Then one afternoon as he was viewing his favourite television channel&#8230; tell us what happened next Daryl.&#8221;</p>
  198. <p>[Daryl] &#8220;Well since he&#8217;s retired, our glorious leader has been finding other things to do &#8211; and luckily for me that involved his new programme on MUTV called: &#8216;Alex Ferguson&#8217;s Chilean Wine Selections&#8217; &#8211; So there I was, watching his show. I&#8217;ve never missed an episodes you know, I&#8217;ve bought every wine he&#8217;s mentioned. So anyway, I was pouring a glass of the 2005 vintage <a title="Guardian | Manchester United's many money-spinning commercial deals – in pictures" href="http://www.theguardian.com/football/gallery/2013/aug/09/manchester-united-financial-sector#/?picture=414072989&amp;index=8" target="_blank">Casillero del Diablo Cabernet Sauvignon-Syrah</a> in synchronisation with The Gaffer on the show when some of it splashed over me. I looked down and I immediately recognised the knight of the realm, the saviour of the Old Trafford, looking right at me.</p>
  199. <p>It was as if he was saying to me; &#8220;<em>Hey there Big Yin, Why d&#8217;ya go&#8217;an do that?</em>&#8221;</p>
  200. <p>I called my wife in from the Manchester United partnered Kutchenhaus fitted kitchen and shown her the new wine stain on our new Man United endorsed Velocity Fabric reclining 4-seater corner sofa.&#8221;</p>
  201. <p>[Interviewer &#8211; to wife] &#8220;And what did you say when you saw that ?&#8221;</p>
  202. <p>[Wife] &#8220;I told him what I always telling every bloody day. Stop eating those Paul Scholes <a title="Guardian | Manchester United's many money-spinning commercial deals – in pictures" href="http://www.theguardian.com/football/gallery/2013/aug/09/manchester-united-financial-sector#/?picture=414073003&amp;index=1" target="_blank">Mister Potato savory snacks</a>, stop going online and ordering those pissing <a title="Guardian | Manchester United's many money-spinning commercial deals – in pictures" href="http://www.theguardian.com/football/gallery/2013/aug/09/manchester-united-financial-sector#/?picture=414073001&amp;index=19" target="_blank">Mamee Noodles from Malaysia</a> AND STOP DRINKING THAT FUCKING <a title="Guardian | Manchester United's many money-spinning commercial deals – in pictures" href="http://www.theguardian.com/football/gallery/2013/aug/09/manchester-united-financial-sector#/?picture=414065147&amp;index=6" target="_blank">SINGHA BEER</a> !<br />
  203. Sorry. Can you bleep that ?&#8221;</p>
  204. <p>[Interviewer] &#8220;No, we&#8217;re broadcasting live.&#8221;</p>
  205. <p>[Daryl] (<em>popping his head in from the living room</em>) &#8220;MUTV ?!!&#8221;</p>
  206. <p>[Interviewer] &#8220;No.&#8221;</p>
  207. <p>[Wife &#8211; to husband] &#8220;Tell him about your other discoveries. Tell him about about the time when you saw Ryan Giggs in a Nando&#8217;s chicken nugget, or when you thought you saw Wayne Rooney in your poo &#8211; and that oily rag which you told me had the Phil Jones face.&#8221;</p>
  208. <p>[Daryl] (<em>looks embarrassed</em>) &#8220;Yes well&#8230; anyway&#8230; Do you want to see this stain then&#8230; it&#8217;s on one of the seat covers&#8230;&#8221;</p>
  209. <p>(<em>Daryl looks down to sofa but the seat cushion is missing.</em>)</p>
  210. <p>&#8220;Darling ? Have you seen the cushion with the stain&#8230;?&#8221;</p>
  211. <p>&#8220;Yeah it&#8217;s in the washing machine&#8221; (She replies)</p>
  212. <p><em>(Horrified the man rushes to the kitchen and in his haste, slams into the machine door. He looks at the Hotpoint logo, but it seems to be peeling off, he grabs and pulls&#8230; another logo underneath..and it says&#8230;</em></p>
  213. <div align="center"><a href="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/09/candy.jpg"><img data-attachment-id="3346" data-permalink="https://fistedaway.wordpress.com/2013/09/04/man-finds-likeness-of-alex-ferguson-in-a-wine-stain/candy/" data-orig-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/09/candy.jpg" data-orig-size="1600,1200" data-comments-opened="1" data-image-meta="{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;6233&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;}" data-image-title="Liverpool Candy" data-image-description="" data-image-caption="" data-medium-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/09/candy.jpg?w=300" data-large-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/09/candy.jpg?w=500" class="aligncenter size-large wp-image-3346" alt="Liverpool Candy" src="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/09/candy.jpg?w=500&#038;h=375" width="500" height="375" srcset="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/09/candy.jpg?w=500 500w, https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/09/candy.jpg?w=1000 1000w, https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/09/candy.jpg?w=150 150w, https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/09/candy.jpg?w=300 300w, https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/09/candy.jpg?w=768 768w" sizes="(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px" /></a></div>
  214. <p>[Wife] &#8220;I&#8217;m leaving yer. I&#8217;m going to live with me Mam in Bootle.&#8221;</p>
  215. <p>*DOOR SLAMS*</p>
  216. ]]></content:encoded>
  218. <wfw:commentRss>https://fistedaway.wordpress.com/2013/09/04/man-finds-likeness-of-alex-ferguson-in-a-wine-stain/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
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  224. <media:title type="html">NickDunmore</media:title>
  225. </media:content>
  226.  
  227. <media:content url="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/09/fergiewine.png" medium="image">
  228. <media:title type="html">Fergie Wine</media:title>
  229. </media:content>
  230.  
  231. <media:content url="http://i.imgur.com/UZuAfYM.jpg" medium="image">
  232. <media:title type="html">MU Bedroom</media:title>
  233. </media:content>
  234.  
  235. <media:content url="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/09/candy.jpg?w=500" medium="image">
  236. <media:title type="html">Liverpool Candy</media:title>
  237. </media:content>
  238. </item>
  239. <item>
  240. <title>The Afterlife of Brian</title>
  241. <link>https://fistedaway.wordpress.com/2013/04/19/the-afterlife-of-brian/</link>
  242. <comments>https://fistedaway.wordpress.com/2013/04/19/the-afterlife-of-brian/#comments</comments>
  244. <dc:creator><![CDATA[NickDunmore]]></dc:creator>
  245. <pubDate>Fri, 19 Apr 2013 13:50:30 +0000</pubDate>
  246. <category><![CDATA[Guestpostery]]></category>
  247. <category><![CDATA[Brian Clough]]></category>
  248. <category><![CDATA[Derby County]]></category>
  249. <category><![CDATA[Michael Sheen]]></category>
  250. <category><![CDATA[Nigel Clough]]></category>
  251. <category><![CDATA[nottingham forest]]></category>
  252. <category><![CDATA[Peter Shilton]]></category>
  253. <category><![CDATA[Steve McClaren]]></category>
  254. <category><![CDATA[The Damned United]]></category>
  255. <guid isPermaLink="false">http://fistedaway.wordpress.com/?p=3327</guid>
  256.  
  257. <description><![CDATA[Follow @RGSOAS ::: FistedAway welcomes a guest post from Luke, tutting loudly at the stray piss on football’s toilet seat over at Ruud Gullit Sitting On A Shed ::: Barry Plapp is someone you&#8217;ve probably never heard of, but if you&#8217;re a football fan you will likely be familiar with his work. In 2008 he was hired [&#8230;]]]></description>
  258. <content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="entry"><a class="twitter-follow-button" href="http://twitter.com/RGSOAS">Follow @RGSOAS</a></div>
  259. <div class="entry"></div>
  260. <div class="entry">
  261. <div data-shortcode="caption" id="attachment_3338" style="width: 510px" class="wp-caption aligncenter"><a href="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/barry-plapp1.png"><img aria-describedby="caption-attachment-3338" loading="lazy" data-attachment-id="3338" data-permalink="https://fistedaway.wordpress.com/2013/04/19/the-afterlife-of-brian/barry-plapp1/" data-orig-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/barry-plapp1.png" data-orig-size="595,379" data-comments-opened="1" data-image-meta="{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;}" data-image-title="Barry Plapp" data-image-description="" data-image-caption="&lt;p&gt;&#8216;Nobody Ever Says Fuck You&#8217;&lt;/p&gt;
  262. " data-medium-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/barry-plapp1.png?w=300" data-large-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/barry-plapp1.png?w=500" class="size-full wp-image-3338 " title="Barry Plapp" alt="Barry Plapp - 'Nobody Ever Says Fuck You'" src="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/barry-plapp1.png?w=500&#038;h=318" width="500" height="318" srcset="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/barry-plapp1.png?w=500&amp;h=318 500w, https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/barry-plapp1.png?w=150&amp;h=96 150w, https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/barry-plapp1.png?w=300&amp;h=191 300w, https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/barry-plapp1.png 595w" sizes="(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px" /></a><p id="caption-attachment-3338" class="wp-caption-text">&#8216;Nobody Ever Says Fuck You&#8217;</p></div>
  263. </div>
  264. <h5 style="text-align:center;"><em>::: FistedAway welcomes a guest post from Luke, tutting loudly at the<br />
  265. stray piss on football’s toilet seat over at <a title="Ruud Gullit Sitting On A Shed" href="http://rgsoas.wordpress.com" target="_blank">Ruud Gullit Sitting On A Shed</a> :::</em></h5>
  266. <p>Barry Plapp is someone you&#8217;ve probably never heard of, but if you&#8217;re a football fan you will likely be familiar with his work. In 2008 he was hired by Brian Clough&#8217;s widow Barbara to write fresh anecdotes about the formerly-witty, now-dead football management personality. Plapp has played a key role in rejuvenating interest in Clough by creating fresh stories about the forthright blowhard&#8217;s life, sustaining the image of Old Big &#8216;Ead and preserving the posthumous cottage industry which makes a tidy profit from Clough-centric paraphernalia such as books, mouse mats and green jumpers. He got the job after an appropriately brazen interview.</p>
  267. <p><span id="more-3327"></span></p>
  268. <p>&#8220;I started here just before the release of The Damned United. For the job interview I barged into the room where the Clough family were sitting, and told them all that Michael Sheen was &#8220;a twat with a face like me mam&#8217;s elbows on wash day&#8221;. They hired me on the spot. I told them they were &#8220;all fickle and should bloody well be ashamed of themselves&#8221;. They hired me again on a different spot.&#8221;</p>
  269. <p><a href="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/cloughsheen.png"><img loading="lazy" data-attachment-id="3335" data-permalink="https://fistedaway.wordpress.com/2013/04/19/the-afterlife-of-brian/cloughsheen/" data-orig-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/cloughsheen.png" data-orig-size="662,359" data-comments-opened="1" data-image-meta="{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;}" data-image-title="Clough Sheen" data-image-description="" data-image-caption="" data-medium-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/cloughsheen.png?w=300" data-large-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/cloughsheen.png?w=500" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-3335" alt="Clough Sheen" src="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/cloughsheen.png?w=500&#038;h=271" width="500" height="271" srcset="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/cloughsheen.png?w=500&amp;h=271 500w, https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/cloughsheen.png?w=150&amp;h=81 150w, https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/cloughsheen.png?w=300&amp;h=163 300w, https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/cloughsheen.png 662w" sizes="(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px" /></a></p>
  270. <p>But where does Barry get his ideas from? He lives in Derby, whose local economy has famously struggled since the closure of the town&#8217;s last remaining ideas factory in 2004, the same year Brian died. So where DOES Barry get his ideas from? I&#8217;m dying to know, and am growing impatient.</p>
  271. <p>&#8220;I find watching Ken Loach films helps me. That sort of home-spun, kitchen-sink, home-sunk, kitchen-spun wisdom really is the lifeblood of what I&#8217;m doing here. It used to be Cloughie&#8217;s actual blood of course, until he snuffed his lid. I sometimes ask Barbara if Brian would&#8217;ve liked me if he ever met me. She always has the same answer. She says &#8216;No, and I don&#8217;t like you either&#8217;. It&#8217;s nice of her to make me feel welcome by acting like Brian would if he was still with us.&#8221;</p>
  272. <p>But it&#8217;s not all fun and games breathing fresh life into a dead man&#8217;s legacy. Barry is no stranger to hard work, with a demanding schedule that keeps him on his toes.</p>
  273. <p>&#8220;Usually there are peak times when I&#8217;m especially busy. The anniversary of his death, whenever a new book, TV show or film about him is being made, or whenever someone at Nottingham Forest does something twatty. My wife and I refer to our new conservatory as &#8216;The Extenschion That Schteve Built&#8217;. It was a very funny remark the first dozen times I said it.&#8221;</p>
  274. <p><a href="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/schteve.png"><img loading="lazy" data-attachment-id="3332" data-permalink="https://fistedaway.wordpress.com/2013/04/19/the-afterlife-of-brian/schteve/" data-orig-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/schteve.png" data-orig-size="762,411" data-comments-opened="1" data-image-meta="{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;}" data-image-title="Schteve" data-image-description="" data-image-caption="" data-medium-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/schteve.png?w=300" data-large-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/schteve.png?w=500" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-3332" alt="Schteve" src="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/schteve.png?w=500&#038;h=269" width="500" height="269" srcset="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/schteve.png?w=500&amp;h=269 500w, https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/schteve.png?w=150&amp;h=81 150w, https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/schteve.png?w=300&amp;h=162 300w, https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/schteve.png 762w" sizes="(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px" /></a></p>
  275. <p>&#8220;The pay is good, and sometimes I&#8217;ll be given bonuses for some of the better yarns. I made up the one about Cloughie walking into a dressing room, pointing at his chin and telling someone to punch him if they&#8217;ve got the balls. The idea just came to me while I was shaving one day. It was used in a foreword to some book or other, so it went down really well. For that one I was given a bowl of stew. So the perks are good.&#8221;</p>
  276. <p>Of course, no job is without a certain amount of difficulty, and Barry has suffered his fair share since becoming part of the team.</p>
  277. <p>&#8220;At first they made me wear a uniform &#8211; red polo shirt, green jumper &#8211; but it just felt dehumanising. It was thought that it would help me channel Cloughie, but it just held me back creatively to be honest. Lots of people thought I looked like Peter Shilton circa 1980, and they would hurl abuse at me on the street. I always thought he had a clean-cut reputation, but let me tell you something about Peter Shilton &#8211; that man is hated.&#8221;</p>
  278. <p>&#8220;Naturally there have been some creative mis-steps too. I once had a meeting with Barbara and Nigel and spent a good fifteen minutes pitching an idea about how Brian had initially found it hard to get work as a manager, and was only given his first job on the proviso that he pretended that the club&#8217;s recently-deceased chairman was actually still alive. Barbara seemed quite keen on the idea, until Nigel pointed out that it was the plot to Weekend At Bernie&#8217;s. I don&#8217;t think I&#8217;ll ever live that one down! It was very embarrassing at the time, but we have a bit of banter about it now.&#8221;</p>
  279. <p><a href="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/weekendatcloughies1.png"><img loading="lazy" data-attachment-id="3334" data-permalink="https://fistedaway.wordpress.com/2013/04/19/the-afterlife-of-brian/weekendatcloughies-2/" data-orig-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/weekendatcloughies1.png" data-orig-size="1000,601" data-comments-opened="1" data-image-meta="{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;}" data-image-title="Weekend At Cloughie&#8217;s" data-image-description="" data-image-caption="" data-medium-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/weekendatcloughies1.png?w=300" data-large-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/weekendatcloughies1.png?w=500" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-3334" alt="Weekend At Cloughie's" src="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/weekendatcloughies1.png?w=500&#038;h=300" width="500" height="300" srcset="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/weekendatcloughies1.png?w=500&amp;h=300 500w, https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/weekendatcloughies1.png?w=998&amp;h=600 998w, https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/weekendatcloughies1.png?w=150&amp;h=90 150w, https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/weekendatcloughies1.png?w=300&amp;h=180 300w, https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/weekendatcloughies1.png?w=768&amp;h=462 768w, https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/weekendatcloughies1.png 1000w" sizes="(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px" /></a></p>
  280. <p>What does the future hold for Barry Plapp? Allow the man himself to look into his official Derby County Future Holder and tell us…</p>
  281. <p>&#8220;Well I love my job here, but naturally I have ambitions for the future. My name is spreading in the world of posthumous reputational mythologising, and I have some good storylines for Brian to keep things ticking over for the next few years. I was asked about a possible sideline coming up with myths and fables for Nigel, to make him seem more interesting, but there was just no future in it. Everybody knows he&#8217;s a boring bastard. At the Clough family Christmas party he always brings Boggle along. I&#8217;m currently learning to speak Dutch, as I have some excellent material in the pipeline for when Johan Cruyff carks it. That&#8217;s my dream job, but we&#8217;ll see. It&#8217;s good to have ambition though. Like Cloughie.&#8221;</p>
  282. <p>And with that, I leave Barry to weave further dreams. He is a visionary with imagination to burn, capable of summoning figments at will, like puffs of hot air from the lips of a ghost in the shadow of a unicorn&#8217;s dream. He might not be the best writer to make up stories on behalf of a dead man, but he is in the top one.</p>
  283. ]]></content:encoded>
  285. <wfw:commentRss>https://fistedaway.wordpress.com/2013/04/19/the-afterlife-of-brian/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
  286. <slash:comments>3</slash:comments>
  290. <media:content url="https://0.gravatar.com/avatar/079e152d37075e3d933bcc3b9096a3ae0cf605c39cb0c71767756fc18563321d?s=96&#38;d=https%3A%2F%2F0.gravatar.com%2Favatar%2Fad516503a11cd5ca435acc9bb6523536%3Fs%3D96" medium="image">
  291. <media:title type="html">NickDunmore</media:title>
  292. </media:content>
  293.  
  294. <media:content url="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/barry-plapp1.png" medium="image">
  295. <media:title type="html">Barry Plapp</media:title>
  296. </media:content>
  297.  
  298. <media:content url="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/cloughsheen.png" medium="image">
  299. <media:title type="html">Clough Sheen</media:title>
  300. </media:content>
  301.  
  302. <media:content url="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/schteve.png" medium="image">
  303. <media:title type="html">Schteve</media:title>
  304. </media:content>
  305.  
  306. <media:content url="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/weekendatcloughies1.png" medium="image">
  307. <media:title type="html">Weekend At Cloughie&#039;s</media:title>
  308. </media:content>
  309. </item>
  310. <item>
  311. <title>Following Balotelli departure, Gareth Barry ready to &#8220;step up and get wacky&#8221;</title>
  312. <link>https://fistedaway.wordpress.com/2013/02/05/following-balotelli-departure-gareth-barry-ready-to-step-up-and-get-wacky/</link>
  313. <comments>https://fistedaway.wordpress.com/2013/02/05/following-balotelli-departure-gareth-barry-ready-to-step-up-and-get-wacky/#comments</comments>
  315. <dc:creator><![CDATA[RobDennis]]></dc:creator>
  316. <pubDate>Tue, 05 Feb 2013 22:03:59 +0000</pubDate>
  317. <category><![CDATA[News]]></category>
  318. <category><![CDATA[AC Milan]]></category>
  319. <category><![CDATA[Gareth Barry]]></category>
  320. <category><![CDATA[Manchester City]]></category>
  321. <category><![CDATA[Mario Balotelli]]></category>
  322. <guid isPermaLink="false">http://fistedaway.wordpress.com/?p=3296</guid>
  323.  
  324. <description><![CDATA[Following Mario Ballotelli&#8217;s departure to AC Milan, his erstwhile Manchester City teammate Gareth Barry has told fans not to pine after the eccentric Italian as he will soon be launching &#8220;some of the zaniest sideways passes you&#8217;ll ever see&#8221;. Barry added that supporters &#8220;won&#8217;t know what&#8217;s hit &#8217;em&#8221;, though later retracted the statement after becoming worried [&#8230;]]]></description>
  325. <content:encoded><![CDATA[<a href="https://twitter.com/fistedaway" class="twitter-follow-button" data-show-count="false" data-text-color="#333333" data-link-color="#265e15">Follow @fistedaway</a>
  326. <p><img loading="lazy" data-attachment-id="3307" data-permalink="https://fistedaway.wordpress.com/2013/02/05/following-balotelli-departure-gareth-barry-ready-to-step-up-and-get-wacky/gareth-barry-002/" data-orig-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/01/gareth-barry-002.jpg" data-orig-size="460,276" data-comments-opened="1" data-image-meta="{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;}" data-image-title="Gareth-Barry" data-image-description="" data-image-caption="" data-medium-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/01/gareth-barry-002.jpg?w=300" data-large-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/01/gareth-barry-002.jpg?w=460" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-3307" alt="Gareth-Barry" src="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/01/gareth-barry-002.jpg?w=500"   srcset="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/01/gareth-barry-002.jpg 460w, https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/01/gareth-barry-002.jpg?w=150&amp;h=90 150w, https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/01/gareth-barry-002.jpg?w=300&amp;h=180 300w" sizes="(max-width: 460px) 100vw, 460px" /></p>
  327. <p>Following Mario Ballotelli&#8217;s departure to AC Milan, his erstwhile Manchester City teammate Gareth Barry has told fans not to pine after the eccentric Italian as he will soon be launching &#8220;some of the zaniest sideways passes you&#8217;ll <em>ever</em> see&#8221;.</p>
  328. <p>Barry added that supporters &#8220;won&#8217;t know what&#8217;s hit &#8217;em&#8221;, though later retracted the statement after becoming worried that people might think he was violent, or was suggesting that they were too stupid to know that they had been hit.</p>
  329. <p><span id="more-3296"></span></p>
  330. <p>Barry&#8217;s new role as club clown began disappointingly last week, with no-one at training noticing that he had dyed his hair a slightly lighter shade of dark brown. Crestfallen, the midfielder has since enlisted the services of local PR agency The Shelves Group.</p>
  331. <p>Though they may not be the biggest name in public relations, Shelves Group Director of Communications John Smithjohn is confident about the rebranding.</p>
  332. <p>&#8220;I have the ear of some of the top key players in the local shelving industry: from Didsbury to West Didsbury. I&#8217;m confident that if we work hard, we can plan some great spontaneous stuff for Gareth&#8221;.</p>
  333. <p>&#8220;First up,&#8221; Smithjohn tells us &#8220;we have been workshopping some hilarious messages for Gareth to display on his t-shirt when he scores his next goal, whether it is a screamer of a tap-in, or a mazy run to the near post at a corner&#8221;.</p>
  334. <p>Having enlisted some of the top copywriters in the shelving business, Smithjohn has give a sneak preview of the first t-shirt:</p>
  335. <p><a href="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/02/gazbaz.jpg"><img loading="lazy" data-attachment-id="3315" data-permalink="https://fistedaway.wordpress.com/2013/02/05/following-balotelli-departure-gareth-barry-ready-to-step-up-and-get-wacky/gazbaz/" data-orig-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/02/gazbaz.jpg" data-orig-size="400,400" data-comments-opened="1" data-image-meta="{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;}" data-image-title="Gareth Barry celebration shirt" data-image-description="" data-image-caption="" data-medium-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/02/gazbaz.jpg?w=300" data-large-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/02/gazbaz.jpg?w=400" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-3315" alt="He has, you know" src="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/02/gazbaz.jpg?w=500"   srcset="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/02/gazbaz.jpg 400w, https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/02/gazbaz.jpg?w=150&amp;h=150 150w, https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/02/gazbaz.jpg?w=300&amp;h=300 300w" sizes="(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px" /></a></p>
  336. <p>Construction has already begun on a fireproof bathroom for &#8216;Garrio Barrytelli&#8217; to set off some indoor sparklers in.</p>
  337. <p>&#8220;We are expecting it to be ready by mid-November&#8221; noted Smithjohn &#8220;as that is when the firework season traditionally hits its peak&#8221;.</p>
  338. <p>The Shelves Group will be relying on the support of the Barry family to pull off some of the wild stunts they have planned.</p>
  339. <p>&#8220;Mrs Barry will be sending Gareth out to get her a new ironing board&#8221; revealed Smithjohn &#8220;but there&#8217;s a surprise in store for her- as he turns up with not just an ironing board, but a new ironing board cover too&#8221;.</p>
  340. ]]></content:encoded>
  342. <wfw:commentRss>https://fistedaway.wordpress.com/2013/02/05/following-balotelli-departure-gareth-barry-ready-to-step-up-and-get-wacky/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
  343. <slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
  347. <media:content url="https://1.gravatar.com/avatar/1932bb3320f57ca7af2469d1a9c3604353e2dbe01ce2cb8ba22d37f5e2da9657?s=96&#38;d=https%3A%2F%2F1.gravatar.com%2Favatar%2Fad516503a11cd5ca435acc9bb6523536%3Fs%3D96" medium="image">
  348. <media:title type="html">RobDennis</media:title>
  349. </media:content>
  350.  
  351. <media:content url="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/01/gareth-barry-002.jpg" medium="image">
  352. <media:title type="html">Gareth-Barry</media:title>
  353. </media:content>
  354.  
  355. <media:content url="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/02/gazbaz.jpg" medium="image">
  356. <media:title type="html">He has, you know</media:title>
  357. </media:content>
  358. </item>
  359. <item>
  360. <title>The Back Stick of It</title>
  361. <link>https://fistedaway.wordpress.com/2013/01/29/the-back-stick-of-it/</link>
  362. <comments>https://fistedaway.wordpress.com/2013/01/29/the-back-stick-of-it/#respond</comments>
  364. <dc:creator><![CDATA[NickDunmore]]></dc:creator>
  365. <pubDate>Tue, 29 Jan 2013 22:29:20 +0000</pubDate>
  366. <category><![CDATA[Guestpostery]]></category>
  367. <category><![CDATA[FA]]></category>
  368. <category><![CDATA[Premier League]]></category>
  369. <guid isPermaLink="false">http://fistedaway.wordpress.com/?p=3285</guid>
  370.  
  371. <description><![CDATA[Follow @FootieAndMusic ::: FistedAway welcomes a guest post from Webbie, who runs the original &#8211; and still the best &#8211; Football and Music ::: [ESTABLISHING SHOT] Wide view overlooking Soho Square. The camera then slowly pans over to the FA Headquarters and starts to move in towards the front door. As we enter, we see the marbled [&#8230;]]]></description>
  372. <content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="entry"><a class="twitter-follow-button" href="http://twitter.com/FootieAndMusic">Follow @FootieAndMusic</a></div>
  373. <p><a href="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/01/the-football-association-008.jpeg"><img loading="lazy" data-attachment-id="3286" data-permalink="https://fistedaway.wordpress.com/2013/01/29/the-back-stick-of-it/the-football-association-008/" data-orig-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/01/the-football-association-008.jpeg" data-orig-size="460,276" data-comments-opened="1" data-image-meta="{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;}" data-image-title="The-Football-Association&#8211;008" data-image-description="" data-image-caption="" data-medium-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/01/the-football-association-008.jpeg?w=300" data-large-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/01/the-football-association-008.jpeg?w=460" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-3286" alt="The Football Association HQ" src="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/01/the-football-association-008.jpeg?w=500"   srcset="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/01/the-football-association-008.jpeg 460w, https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/01/the-football-association-008.jpeg?w=150&amp;h=90 150w, https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/01/the-football-association-008.jpeg?w=300&amp;h=180 300w" sizes="(max-width: 460px) 100vw, 460px" /></a></p>
  374. <h5 style="text-align:center;"><em>::: FistedAway welcomes a guest post from Webbie,<br />
  375. who runs the original &#8211; and still the best &#8211; <a title="Football and Music" href="http://www.footballandmusic.co.uk/" target="_blank">Football and Music</a> :::</em></h5>
  376. <p>[ESTABLISHING SHOT] <em>Wide view overlooking Soho Square. The camera then slowly pans over to the FA Headquarters and starts to move in towards the front door. As we enter, we see the marbled halls. The camera takes a walk through looking left and right and there are scenes reminiscent of a gentlemen&#8217;s club. Fat suits lounging around, all smoking Cuban cigars. Finally we come up to a closed door, it is opened and we walk through to see a meeting taking place. At the head, behind a giant oak desk there are three FA execs, infront of them sits an impossibly exotic Premier League footballer and his representative/interpreter.</em></p>
  377. <p>[Suit Number 1] &#8220;So then Mr Juniorhohio you know why you are called in here today ?&#8221;</p>
  378. <p>[Interpreter turns to footballer] (In Spanish &#8211; English subtitles) &#8220;These fat pigs want to suck your <em>polla</em>.&#8221;</p>
  379. <p><span id="more-3285"></span></p>
  380. <p>[Footballer] (again in Spanish and Eng subs) &#8220;This is wasting my time, I could be fucking my beautiful model wife right now.&#8221; [Interpreter to the FA suits] &#8220;Yes we received your letter in the post.&#8221;</p>
  381. <p>[Suit Number 2] &#8220;Do you have any comments to make about the incident ?&#8221;</p>
  382. <p>[Footballer] &#8220;What&#8217;s he saying ? Why am I still fucking sitting here ?&#8221;</p>
  383. <p>[Interpreter to footballer] &#8220;They want to tell you how much they love you and want to put their fingers in your <em>culo</em>.&#8221;</p>
  384. <p>[Footballer] &#8220;Tell them that they are all ugly <em>coños</em> who should go fuck their grandmothers.&#8221;</p>
  385. <p>[Interpreter] &#8220;He says: What incident are you referring to ?&#8221;</p>
  386. <p>[Suit Number 1] &#8220;It was in the match against Melchanster Wanderers, where you gave a Nazi salute to the referee and then stormed off down the tunnel when he didn&#8217;t give you a free kick.&#8221;</p>
  387. <p>[Interpreter] &#8220;These fascist pigs are talking about that glorious game when you scored a hat-trick and deigned to wave to the officianado before you went to the nightclub.&#8221;</p>
  388. <p>[Footballer] &#8220;Ah yes the coach was sacked then next day because I told the newspapers he picks up prostitutes and he just&#8230;he just cries. It was a good day.&#8221;</p>
  389. <p>[Interpreter] &#8220;He says he can&#8217;t remember everything exactly.&#8221;</p>
  390. <p>[The FA Suits lean towards each other and a whispered conversation] &#8220;Well what the fuck are we supposed to do ? If we put a ban on him it&#8217;s going to fuck up our revenues for the Cup semi final. Nobody is going to tune in to watch the rest of those twats. We are not going to sell any advertising and the cunting Americans will not pick up the broadcast without this miserable wanker strutting about the place.&#8221;</p>
  391. <p>[Footballer] (Still in Spanish, Eng subs) &#8220;What the fuck are they doing ? I have to fly to Milan for lunch with Silvio&#8221;</p>
  392. <p>[Interpreter] &#8220;How long will this take ? My client has a charity appearance at a hospital.&#8221;</p>
  393. <p>[FA Suits look round and then back to each other] &#8220;Look I tell you what, we&#8217;ll put out a press release that the hearing was postponed while we look at more evidence. We&#8217;ll keep putting it off and putting it off until the end of the season. Then when he&#8217;s off in the international tournament we&#8217;ll put off the fine and suspension to start at the beginning of the next season. This will give him a couple weeks more holiday and we&#8217;ll be back in his good books.&#8221;</p>
  394. <p>[FA Suit number 3] &#8220;Well&#8230; we don&#8217;t have all the facts (mutters under breath) &#8216;despite the live match cameras, the &#8216;mistranslated&#8217; video interview where you told that Spanish journalist that the goalkeeper was sleeping with the defender and the police report after your arrest for drunk driving&#8217; &#8230;So we will reschedule this meeting for another date &#8211; to be decided.&#8221;</p>
  395. <p>[Interpreter to footballers] &#8220;The spineless motherfuckers are saying sorry. They say that you are the greatest player they have ever seen.&#8221;</p>
  396. <p>[Footballer] &#8220;Good. This is the last time I will be here anyway. I&#8217;m pissing off to the Mediterranean as soon as the transfer window opens. Half a million a week and a &#8216;ho bonus&#8217;. Go screw yourselves you worthless shits on the shoe.&#8221;</p>
  397. <p>[Interpreter] &#8220;He says thank you.&#8221;</p>
  398. ]]></content:encoded>
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  401. <slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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  406. <media:title type="html">NickDunmore</media:title>
  407. </media:content>
  408.  
  409. <media:content url="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2013/01/the-football-association-008.jpeg" medium="image">
  410. <media:title type="html">The Football Association HQ</media:title>
  411. </media:content>
  412. </item>
  413. <item>
  414. <title>Hey everyone: Let&#8217;s Photoshop Sam Allardyce!</title>
  415. <link>https://fistedaway.wordpress.com/2012/12/14/hey-everyone-lets-photoshop-sam-allardyce/</link>
  416. <comments>https://fistedaway.wordpress.com/2012/12/14/hey-everyone-lets-photoshop-sam-allardyce/#comments</comments>
  418. <dc:creator><![CDATA[NickDunmore]]></dc:creator>
  419. <pubDate>Fri, 14 Dec 2012 16:12:03 +0000</pubDate>
  420. <category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
  421. <category><![CDATA[Roma]]></category>
  422. <category><![CDATA[Sam Allardyce]]></category>
  423. <category><![CDATA[west ham united]]></category>
  424. <guid isPermaLink="false">http://fistedaway.wordpress.com/?p=3259</guid>
  425.  
  426. <description><![CDATA[An explanation: I am on West Ham&#8217;s mailing list, having attended a pre-season friendly between West Ham vs Roma in 2007 and never unsubscribed. These days, the top banner of the Hammers&#8217; emails features Sam Allardyce in a striking pose: Just look at him. Ripe for the plucking. Why, he could be anything: a space [&#8230;]]]></description>
  427. <content:encoded><![CDATA[<a href="https://twitter.com/fistedaway" class="twitter-follow-button" data-show-count="false" data-text-color="#333333" data-link-color="#265e15">Follow @fistedaway</a>
  428. <p><a href="https://fistedaway.wordpress.com/2012/12/14/hey-everyone-lets-photoshop-sam-allardyce/daleydyce/" rel="attachment wp-att-3260"><img loading="lazy" data-attachment-id="3260" data-permalink="https://fistedaway.wordpress.com/2012/12/14/hey-everyone-lets-photoshop-sam-allardyce/daleydyce/" data-orig-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/daleydyce.jpg" data-orig-size="620,388" data-comments-opened="1" data-image-meta="{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;}" data-image-title="Daleydyce" data-image-description="" data-image-caption="" data-medium-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/daleydyce.jpg?w=300" data-large-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/daleydyce.jpg?w=500" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-3260" alt="Daleydyce" src="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/daleydyce.jpg?w=500&#038;h=312" width="500" height="312" srcset="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/daleydyce.jpg?w=500&amp;h=312 500w, https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/daleydyce.jpg?w=150&amp;h=94 150w, https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/daleydyce.jpg?w=300&amp;h=188 300w, https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/daleydyce.jpg 620w" sizes="(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px" /></a></p>
  429. <p><em>An explanation:</em></p>
  430. <p>I am on West Ham&#8217;s mailing list, having attended a <a title="Guardian Football | Ashton's finishing touch lifts Hammers" href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2007/aug/05/newsstory.westhamunited" target="_blank">pre-season friendly between West Ham vs Roma</a> in 2007 and never unsubscribed.</p>
  431. <p>These days, the top banner of the Hammers&#8217; emails features Sam Allardyce in a striking pose:</p>
  432. <p><a href="https://fistedaway.wordpress.com/2012/12/14/hey-everyone-lets-photoshop-sam-allardyce/screen-shot-2012-12-11-at-23-52-38/" rel="attachment wp-att-3261"><img loading="lazy" data-attachment-id="3261" data-permalink="https://fistedaway.wordpress.com/2012/12/14/hey-everyone-lets-photoshop-sam-allardyce/screen-shot-2012-12-11-at-23-52-38/" data-orig-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/screen-shot-2012-12-11-at-23-52-38.png" data-orig-size="569,203" data-comments-opened="1" data-image-meta="{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;}" data-image-title="Allardyce email" data-image-description="" data-image-caption="" data-medium-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/screen-shot-2012-12-11-at-23-52-38.png?w=300" data-large-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/screen-shot-2012-12-11-at-23-52-38.png?w=500" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-3261" alt="&quot;Everything, as long as it didn't include passing&quot;" src="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/screen-shot-2012-12-11-at-23-52-38.png?w=500&#038;h=178" width="500" height="178" srcset="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/screen-shot-2012-12-11-at-23-52-38.png?w=500&amp;h=178 500w, https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/screen-shot-2012-12-11-at-23-52-38.png?w=150&amp;h=54 150w, https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/screen-shot-2012-12-11-at-23-52-38.png?w=300&amp;h=107 300w, https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/screen-shot-2012-12-11-at-23-52-38.png 569w" sizes="(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px" /></a></p>
  433. <p>Just look at him. Ripe for the plucking. Why, he could be anything:</p>
  434. <ul>
  435. <li>a space rocket!</li>
  436. <li>a lampshade!</li>
  437. <li>The Monument to the Third International!</li>
  438. </ul>
  439. <p>This cut-out is what we are working with:</p>
  440. <p style="text-align:center;"><a href="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/sam-allardyce.png" target="_blank"><img loading="lazy" data-attachment-id="3263" data-permalink="https://fistedaway.wordpress.com/2012/12/14/hey-everyone-lets-photoshop-sam-allardyce/sam-allardyce/" data-orig-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/sam-allardyce.png" data-orig-size="112,196" data-comments-opened="1" data-image-meta="{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;}" data-image-title="Sam Allardyce" data-image-description="" data-image-caption="" data-medium-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/sam-allardyce.png?w=112" data-large-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/sam-allardyce.png?w=112" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-3263" alt="Sam Allardyce" src="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/sam-allardyce.png?w=500"   /></a></p>
  441. <h3>Get involved</h3>
  442. <p>1) Download <a title="Sam Allardyce source file" href="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/sam-allardyce.png">the source file</a>,<br />
  443. 2) Get photoshoppin&#8217;,<br />
  444. 3) <a title="Mail FistedAway" href="mailto:nick.dunmore@yahoo.co.uk" target="_blank">Email</a> or <a title="Twitter | Fisted Away" href="http://twitter.com/fistedaway">tweet your entries at us</a></p>
  445. <p style="text-align:center;">
  446. <p style="text-align:center;"><em>Entries after the jump&#8230;</em></p>
  447. <p><span id="more-3259"></span></p>
  448. <h3>Buckyball</h3>
  449. <p>Here&#8217;s our first entry, from <a title="FC77" href="http://www.fc77.com" target="_blank">Buckyball in Portland, Oregon</a>:</p>
  450. <p>&#8220;My vision is of Sam&#8217;s seductive manager interview presentation, most recently seen by the West Ham board.&#8221;</p>
  451. <p><a href="https://fistedaway.wordpress.com/2012/12/14/hey-everyone-lets-photoshop-sam-allardyce/allerdyce_haremdancer/" rel="attachment wp-att-3277"><img loading="lazy" data-attachment-id="3277" data-permalink="https://fistedaway.wordpress.com/2012/12/14/hey-everyone-lets-photoshop-sam-allardyce/allerdyce_haremdancer/" data-orig-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/allerdyce_haremdancer.jpg" data-orig-size="450,765" data-comments-opened="1" data-image-meta="{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;}" data-image-title="Allardyce Harem dancer" data-image-description="" data-image-caption="" data-medium-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/allerdyce_haremdancer.jpg?w=176" data-large-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/allerdyce_haremdancer.jpg?w=450" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-3277" alt="Allardyce Harem dancer" src="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/allerdyce_haremdancer.jpg?w=500"   srcset="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/allerdyce_haremdancer.jpg 450w, https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/allerdyce_haremdancer.jpg?w=88&amp;h=150 88w, https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/allerdyce_haremdancer.jpg?w=176&amp;h=300 176w" sizes="(max-width: 450px) 100vw, 450px" /></a></p>
  452. <h3>Football and Music</h3>
  453. <p>We have had what can only be described as a cavalcade of entries from the original (and still the best) <a title="Football and Music" href="http://www.footballandmusic.co.uk/">Football and Music</a>:</p>
  454.  
  455. <a href='https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/bigsam_ballet.png'><img width="150" height="103" src="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/bigsam_ballet.png?w=150&#038;h=103" class="attachment-thumbnail size-thumbnail" alt="" decoding="async" srcset="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/bigsam_ballet.png?w=150 150w, https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/bigsam_ballet.png?w=300 300w" sizes="(max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px" data-attachment-id="3280" data-permalink="https://fistedaway.wordpress.com/2012/12/14/hey-everyone-lets-photoshop-sam-allardyce/bigsam_ballet/" data-orig-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/bigsam_ballet.png" data-orig-size="640,439" data-comments-opened="1" data-image-meta="{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;}" data-image-title="Big Sam at the Ballet" data-image-description="" data-image-caption="&lt;p&gt;&#8220;Big Sam at the Ballet&#8221;&lt;/p&gt;
  456. " data-medium-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/bigsam_ballet.png?w=300" data-large-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/bigsam_ballet.png?w=500" /></a>
  457. <a href='https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/bigsam_aymca.jpg'><img width="150" height="52" src="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/bigsam_aymca.jpg?w=150&#038;h=52" class="attachment-thumbnail size-thumbnail" alt="" decoding="async" srcset="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/bigsam_aymca.jpg?w=150 150w, https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/bigsam_aymca.jpg?w=298 298w" sizes="(max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px" data-attachment-id="3282" data-permalink="https://fistedaway.wordpress.com/2012/12/14/hey-everyone-lets-photoshop-sam-allardyce/bigsam_aymca/" data-orig-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/bigsam_aymca.jpg" data-orig-size="633,221" data-comments-opened="1" data-image-meta="{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;}" data-image-title="AYMCA" data-image-description="" data-image-caption="&lt;p&gt;&#8220;Allardyce keeps messing around with the line up&#8230;&#8221;&lt;/p&gt;
  458. " data-medium-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/bigsam_aymca.jpg?w=300" data-large-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/bigsam_aymca.jpg?w=500" /></a>
  459. <a href='https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/bigsam_lamp_achristmasstory.jpg'><img width="83" height="150" src="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/bigsam_lamp_achristmasstory.jpg?w=83&#038;h=150" class="attachment-thumbnail size-thumbnail" alt="" decoding="async" srcset="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/bigsam_lamp_achristmasstory.jpg?w=83 83w, https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/bigsam_lamp_achristmasstory.jpg?w=166 166w" sizes="(max-width: 83px) 100vw, 83px" data-attachment-id="3281" data-permalink="https://fistedaway.wordpress.com/2012/12/14/hey-everyone-lets-photoshop-sam-allardyce/bigsam_lamp_achristmasstory/" data-orig-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/bigsam_lamp_achristmasstory.jpg" data-orig-size="210,379" data-comments-opened="1" data-image-meta="{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;}" data-image-title="Lamp Allampdyce" data-image-description="" data-image-caption="&lt;p&gt;&#8220;Americans will get this &#8211; the lamp from the movie A Christmas Story&#8221;&lt;/p&gt;
  460. " data-medium-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/bigsam_lamp_achristmasstory.jpg?w=166" data-large-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/bigsam_lamp_achristmasstory.jpg?w=210" /></a>
  461.  
  462. <h3></h3>
  463. <h3>Get involved</h3>
  464. <p>1) Download <a title="Sam Allardyce source file" href="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/sam-allardyce.png">the source file</a>,<br />
  465. 2) Get photoshoppin&#8217;,<br />
  466. 3) <a title="Mail FistedAway" href="mailto:nick.dunmore@yahoo.co.uk" target="_blank">Email</a> or <a title="Twitter | Fisted Away" href="http://twitter.com/fistedaway">tweet your entries at us</a></p>
  467. ]]></content:encoded>
  469. <wfw:commentRss>https://fistedaway.wordpress.com/2012/12/14/hey-everyone-lets-photoshop-sam-allardyce/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
  470. <slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
  474. <media:content url="https://0.gravatar.com/avatar/079e152d37075e3d933bcc3b9096a3ae0cf605c39cb0c71767756fc18563321d?s=96&#38;d=https%3A%2F%2F0.gravatar.com%2Favatar%2Fad516503a11cd5ca435acc9bb6523536%3Fs%3D96" medium="image">
  475. <media:title type="html">NickDunmore</media:title>
  476. </media:content>
  477.  
  478. <media:content url="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/daleydyce.jpg" medium="image">
  479. <media:title type="html">Daleydyce</media:title>
  480. </media:content>
  481.  
  482. <media:content url="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/screen-shot-2012-12-11-at-23-52-38.png" medium="image">
  483. <media:title type="html">&#034;Everything, as long as it didn&#039;t include passing&#034;</media:title>
  484. </media:content>
  485.  
  486. <media:content url="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/sam-allardyce.png" medium="image">
  487. <media:title type="html">Sam Allardyce</media:title>
  488. </media:content>
  489.  
  490. <media:content url="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/allerdyce_haremdancer.jpg" medium="image">
  491. <media:title type="html">Allardyce Harem dancer</media:title>
  492. </media:content>
  493. </item>
  494. <item>
  495. <title>&#8220;We need to be more assertive&#8221; mumbles Arsenal&#8217;s Tomas Rosicky to no-one in particular</title>
  496. <link>https://fistedaway.wordpress.com/2012/12/07/we-need-to-be-more-assertive-mumbles-arsenals-tomas-rosicky-to-no-one-in-particular/</link>
  497. <comments>https://fistedaway.wordpress.com/2012/12/07/we-need-to-be-more-assertive-mumbles-arsenals-tomas-rosicky-to-no-one-in-particular/#comments</comments>
  499. <dc:creator><![CDATA[NickDunmore]]></dc:creator>
  500. <pubDate>Fri, 07 Dec 2012 01:36:18 +0000</pubDate>
  501. <category><![CDATA[News]]></category>
  502. <category><![CDATA[Arsenal]]></category>
  503. <category><![CDATA[Arsene Wenger]]></category>
  504. <category><![CDATA[Champions League]]></category>
  505. <category><![CDATA[Olympiakos]]></category>
  506. <category><![CDATA[Thierry Henry]]></category>
  507. <category><![CDATA[Tomas Rosicky]]></category>
  508. <guid isPermaLink="false">http://fistedaway.wordpress.com/?p=3243</guid>
  509.  
  510. <description><![CDATA[Following a recent run of stilted performances and poor results, Arsenal midfielder Tomas Rosicky issued a rallying whisper to his Arsenal teammates today. Delivering a witheringly quiet rebuke in the direction of his shoes, Rosicky asked if &#8220;the rest of the team wouldn&#8217;t mind awfully playing a teensy bit better if that isn&#8217;t too rude [&#8230;]]]></description>
  511. <content:encoded><![CDATA[<a href="https://twitter.com/fistedaway" class="twitter-follow-button" data-show-count="false" data-text-color="#333333" data-link-color="#265e15">Follow @fistedaway</a>
  512. <p><a href="https://fistedaway.wordpress.com/2012/12/07/we-need-to-be-more-assertive-mumbles-arsenals-tomas-rosicky-to-no-one-in-particular/tomas_rosicky_755815a/" rel="attachment wp-att-3244"><img loading="lazy" data-attachment-id="3244" data-permalink="https://fistedaway.wordpress.com/2012/12/07/we-need-to-be-more-assertive-mumbles-arsenals-tomas-rosicky-to-no-one-in-particular/tomas_rosicky_755815a/" data-orig-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/tomas_rosicky_755815a.jpeg" data-orig-size="682,400" data-comments-opened="1" data-image-meta="{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;}" data-image-title="Tomas Rosicky" data-image-description="" data-image-caption="" data-medium-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/tomas_rosicky_755815a.jpeg?w=300" data-large-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/tomas_rosicky_755815a.jpeg?w=500" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-3244" alt="Tomas Rosicky" src="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/tomas_rosicky_755815a.jpeg?w=500&#038;h=293" height="293" width="500" srcset="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/tomas_rosicky_755815a.jpeg?w=500&amp;h=293 500w, https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/tomas_rosicky_755815a.jpeg?w=150&amp;h=88 150w, https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/tomas_rosicky_755815a.jpeg?w=300&amp;h=176 300w, https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/tomas_rosicky_755815a.jpeg 682w" sizes="(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px" /></a></p>
  513. <p>Following a recent run of stilted performances and poor results, Arsenal midfielder Tomas Rosicky issued a rallying whisper to his Arsenal teammates today.</p>
  514. <p>Delivering a witheringly quiet rebuke in the direction of his shoes, Rosicky asked if &#8220;the rest of the team wouldn&#8217;t mind awfully playing a teensy bit better if that isn&#8217;t too rude to ask&#8221;.</p>
  515. <p><span id="more-3243"></span></p>
  516. <p>With just a solitary win in their last five games, Rosicky urged a greater collective spirit. &#8220;In a difficult time like this, they need to stick together. Not me. Look, I only just got back, it&#8217;s my first day and it was like that when I got here. Plus, we were 1-0 up when I went off. Just sayin&#8217; is all&#8221;.</p>
  517. <p><a href="https://fistedaway.wordpress.com/2012/12/07/we-need-to-be-more-assertive-mumbles-arsenals-tomas-rosicky-to-no-one-in-particular/tomas-rosicky-image-2-26991508/" rel="attachment wp-att-3246"><img loading="lazy" data-attachment-id="3246" data-permalink="https://fistedaway.wordpress.com/2012/12/07/we-need-to-be-more-assertive-mumbles-arsenals-tomas-rosicky-to-no-one-in-particular/tomas-rosicky-image-2-26991508/" data-orig-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/tomas-rosicky-image-2-26991508.jpeg" data-orig-size="615,409" data-comments-opened="1" data-image-meta="{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;}" data-image-title="Tomas Rosicky" data-image-description="" data-image-caption="" data-medium-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/tomas-rosicky-image-2-26991508.jpeg?w=300" data-large-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/tomas-rosicky-image-2-26991508.jpeg?w=500" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-3246" alt="Tomas Rosicky" src="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/tomas-rosicky-image-2-26991508.jpeg?w=500&#038;h=332" height="332" width="500" srcset="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/tomas-rosicky-image-2-26991508.jpeg?w=500&amp;h=332 500w, https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/tomas-rosicky-image-2-26991508.jpeg?w=150&amp;h=100 150w, https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/tomas-rosicky-image-2-26991508.jpeg?w=300&amp;h=200 300w, https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/tomas-rosicky-image-2-26991508.jpeg 615w" sizes="(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px" /></a></p>
  518. <p>Rosicky revealed that a furious Wenger tore into his players in the dressing room following the Champions League loss to Olympiakos, telling the team that it was &#8220;time to sit down and be counted&#8221; and that they all needed to &#8220;take a short, soft look at themselves in a moderately reflective surface&#8221;.</p>
  519. <p>When asked whether he thought his team-mates might benefit from receiving the hair-dryer treatment, Rosicky tossed his lovely mane and responded &#8220;You think this is natural? Hours of styling work. Literally hours. The other lads should definitely take note&#8221;.</p>
  520. <p>&#8220;We need to end this constant self-doubt&#8221; stuttered Rosicky. &#8220;At least I think we do. Or maybe not? Maybe I should check with Thierry?&#8221;.</p>
  521. <p>A source close to Henry has revealed that his only piece of advice is: &#8220;Pull your socks up&#8230;. waaay up over your knees&#8221; </p>
  522. <p>&#8220;Chicks dig it&#8221;.</p>
  523. <p><a href="https://fistedaway.wordpress.com/2012/12/07/we-need-to-be-more-assertive-mumbles-arsenals-tomas-rosicky-to-no-one-in-particular/soccer-barclays-premier-league-swansea-city-v-arsenal-liberty-stadium/" rel="attachment wp-att-3245"><img loading="lazy" data-attachment-id="3245" data-permalink="https://fistedaway.wordpress.com/2012/12/07/we-need-to-be-more-assertive-mumbles-arsenals-tomas-rosicky-to-no-one-in-particular/soccer-barclays-premier-league-swansea-city-v-arsenal-liberty-stadium/" data-orig-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/495165073-soccer-barclays-premier-league-swansea-city-v-arsenal-liberty-stadium.jpeg" data-orig-size="449,293" data-comments-opened="1" data-image-meta="{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;EMPICS Sport&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;Arsenal&#039;s Thierry Henry (centre) and Tomas Rosicky (right) wait to be substituted onto the pitch&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;EMPICS Sport&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;Soccer - Barclays Premier League - Swansea City v Arsenal - Liberty Stadium&quot;}" data-image-title="Henry and Rosicky" data-image-description="" data-image-caption="" data-medium-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/495165073-soccer-barclays-premier-league-swansea-city-v-arsenal-liberty-stadium.jpeg?w=300" data-large-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/495165073-soccer-barclays-premier-league-swansea-city-v-arsenal-liberty-stadium.jpeg?w=449" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-3245" alt="Thierry Henry and Tomas Rosicky" src="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/495165073-soccer-barclays-premier-league-swansea-city-v-arsenal-liberty-stadium.jpeg?w=500"   srcset="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/495165073-soccer-barclays-premier-league-swansea-city-v-arsenal-liberty-stadium.jpeg 449w, https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/495165073-soccer-barclays-premier-league-swansea-city-v-arsenal-liberty-stadium.jpeg?w=150&amp;h=98 150w, https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/495165073-soccer-barclays-premier-league-swansea-city-v-arsenal-liberty-stadium.jpeg?w=300&amp;h=196 300w" sizes="(max-width: 449px) 100vw, 449px" /></a></p>
  524. ]]></content:encoded>
  526. <wfw:commentRss>https://fistedaway.wordpress.com/2012/12/07/we-need-to-be-more-assertive-mumbles-arsenals-tomas-rosicky-to-no-one-in-particular/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
  527. <slash:comments>4</slash:comments>
  531. <media:content url="https://0.gravatar.com/avatar/079e152d37075e3d933bcc3b9096a3ae0cf605c39cb0c71767756fc18563321d?s=96&#38;d=https%3A%2F%2F0.gravatar.com%2Favatar%2Fad516503a11cd5ca435acc9bb6523536%3Fs%3D96" medium="image">
  532. <media:title type="html">NickDunmore</media:title>
  533. </media:content>
  534.  
  535. <media:content url="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/tomas_rosicky_755815a.jpeg" medium="image">
  536. <media:title type="html">Tomas Rosicky</media:title>
  537. </media:content>
  538.  
  539. <media:content url="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/tomas-rosicky-image-2-26991508.jpeg" medium="image">
  540. <media:title type="html">Tomas Rosicky</media:title>
  541. </media:content>
  542.  
  543. <media:content url="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/495165073-soccer-barclays-premier-league-swansea-city-v-arsenal-liberty-stadium.jpeg" medium="image">
  544. <media:title type="html">Thierry Henry and Tomas Rosicky</media:title>
  545. </media:content>
  546. </item>
  547. <item>
  548. <title>Walcott, Sturridge form new club so they can argue over who plays down the middle</title>
  549. <link>https://fistedaway.wordpress.com/2012/12/05/walcott-sturridge-form-club/</link>
  550. <comments>https://fistedaway.wordpress.com/2012/12/05/walcott-sturridge-form-club/#comments</comments>
  552. <dc:creator><![CDATA[RobDennis]]></dc:creator>
  553. <pubDate>Wed, 05 Dec 2012 00:17:51 +0000</pubDate>
  554. <category><![CDATA[News]]></category>
  555. <category><![CDATA[Arsenal]]></category>
  556. <category><![CDATA[Chelsea]]></category>
  557. <category><![CDATA[Daniel Sturridge]]></category>
  558. <category><![CDATA[Middlesbrough]]></category>
  559. <category><![CDATA[Premier League]]></category>
  560. <category><![CDATA[theo walcott]]></category>
  561. <guid isPermaLink="false">http://fistedaway.wordpress.com/?p=3195</guid>
  562.  
  563. <description><![CDATA[At a hastily arranged midweek, midday press conference, in a middle-of-the-road hotel in the Midlands, Arsenal&#8217;s Theo Walcott and Chelsea&#8217;s Daniel Sturridge came together to announce their plans to join forces and form their own club. The press conference was initially delayed for an hour, with each player insisting that they both sat in the middle of the [&#8230;]]]></description>
  564. <content:encoded><![CDATA[<a href="https://twitter.com/fistedaway" class="twitter-follow-button" data-show-count="false" data-text-color="#333333" data-link-color="#265e15">Follow @fistedaway</a>
  565. <p><a href="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/Theoniel_Sturrcott.jpg"><img loading="lazy" data-attachment-id="3210" data-permalink="https://fistedaway.wordpress.com/2012/12/05/walcott-sturridge-form-club/daniel-sturridge-theo-walcott-england-v-swede_2826264-2/" data-orig-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/11/daniel-sturridge-theo-walcott-england-v-swede_28262641.jpg" data-orig-size="800,600" data-comments-opened="1" data-image-meta="{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;}" data-image-title="Theoniel Sturrcott" data-image-description="" data-image-caption="" data-medium-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/11/daniel-sturridge-theo-walcott-england-v-swede_28262641.jpg?w=300" data-large-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/11/daniel-sturridge-theo-walcott-england-v-swede_28262641.jpg?w=500" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-3210" title="Theoniel Sturrcott" alt="" src="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/11/daniel-sturridge-theo-walcott-england-v-swede_28262641.jpg?w=500&#038;h=375" height="375" width="500" srcset="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/11/daniel-sturridge-theo-walcott-england-v-swede_28262641.jpg?w=500&amp;h=375 500w, https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/11/daniel-sturridge-theo-walcott-england-v-swede_28262641.jpg?w=150&amp;h=113 150w, https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/11/daniel-sturridge-theo-walcott-england-v-swede_28262641.jpg?w=300&amp;h=225 300w, https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/11/daniel-sturridge-theo-walcott-england-v-swede_28262641.jpg?w=768&amp;h=576 768w, https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/11/daniel-sturridge-theo-walcott-england-v-swede_28262641.jpg 800w" sizes="(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px" /></a></p>
  566. <p>At a hastily arranged midweek, midday press conference, in a middle-of-the-road hotel in the Midlands, Arsenal&#8217;s Theo Walcott and Chelsea&#8217;s Daniel Sturridge came together to announce their plans to join forces and form their own club.</p>
  567. <p>The press conference was initially delayed for an hour, with each player insisting that they both sat in the middle of the stage. Walcott and Sturridge finally agreed to sit on the same chair, a buttock each, then began informing the media of their plan by both speaking at the same time.</p>
  568. <p><span id="more-3195"></span></p>
  569. <p>This created a terrible mid-range drone which caused one veteran sports journalist to flee the room with blood streaming from her ears. It was eventually agreed that they would each speak one word of each sentence, alternating ad nauseam.</p>
  570. <p><a href="https://fistedaway.wordpress.com/2012/12/05/walcott-sturridge-form-club/walstur221012/" rel="attachment wp-att-3232"><img loading="lazy" data-attachment-id="3232" data-permalink="https://fistedaway.wordpress.com/2012/12/05/walcott-sturridge-form-club/walstur221012/" data-orig-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/walstur221012.jpeg" data-orig-size="492,300" data-comments-opened="1" data-image-meta="{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;}" data-image-title="Walcott and Sturridge" data-image-description="" data-image-caption="" data-medium-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/walstur221012.jpeg?w=300" data-large-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/walstur221012.jpeg?w=492" class="size-full wp-image-3232 aligncenter" alt="Walcott and Sturridge" src="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/walstur221012.jpeg?w=500"   srcset="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/walstur221012.jpeg 492w, https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/walstur221012.jpeg?w=150&amp;h=91 150w, https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/walstur221012.jpeg?w=300&amp;h=183 300w" sizes="(max-width: 492px) 100vw, 492px" /></a></p>
  571. <p>Theoniel Sturrcott then revealed their intention to leave the Premier League and form a new football club, immediately installing themselves as Owner Director Player Manager Centre Forwards. &#8220;We have decided to call this new club &#8216;Middlesbrough Football Club&#8217;: the word middle symbolises our joint desire to play through the middle. Also, we like football and clubs&#8221;.</p>
  572. <p>Following a brief interlude where their advisers calmly explained that the name Middlesbrough was taken, and a side discussion about the meaning of symbolism, a new name was swiftly workshopped by the players.</p>
  573. <p>&#8216;AFC Dan and Theo&#8217;s Top Secret Brill Club United&#8217; will begin life in the Middlesex County Football League Premier Division. The club badge depicts a speedy striker bearing down on goal then getting the ball stuck under his feet.</p>
  574. <p><a href="https://fistedaway.wordpress.com/2012/12/05/walcott-sturridge-form-club/theoanddan_crest/" rel="attachment wp-att-3230"><img loading="lazy" data-attachment-id="3230" data-permalink="https://fistedaway.wordpress.com/2012/12/05/walcott-sturridge-form-club/theoanddan_crest/" data-orig-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/theoanddan_crest.jpeg" data-orig-size="400,480" data-comments-opened="1" data-image-meta="{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;}" data-image-title="TheoAndDan_crest" data-image-description="&lt;p&gt;AFC Dan and Theo&#8217;s Top Secret Brill Club United&lt;/p&gt;
  575. " data-image-caption="" data-medium-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/theoanddan_crest.jpeg?w=250" data-large-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/theoanddan_crest.jpeg?w=400" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-3230" alt="AFC Dan and Theo's Top Secret Brill Club United" src="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/theoanddan_crest.jpeg?w=500"   srcset="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/theoanddan_crest.jpeg 400w, https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/theoanddan_crest.jpeg?w=125&amp;h=150 125w, https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/theoanddan_crest.jpeg?w=250&amp;h=300 250w" sizes="(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px" /></a></p>
  576. <p>Due to the extravagant wages awarded to Thedan Stuwal in their multiple capacities at the club, AFC Dan and Theo&#8217;s Top Secret Brill Club United have been forced to bend the League&#8217;s rules to make 9 emergency loan signings. When questioned on who they were looking to bring in, Daneo Walridge replied &#8220;Wingers mainly, we feel we&#8217;re short in that area. Certainly, Theon Ridcott are not suited at all to playing out wide, and will only be deployed centrally, where they belong.&#8221;</p>
  577. <p>Having settled on fielding an attacking 0-8-1 formation it was left to a back-room staff made up of their Dads to break it to Dathanial Cottsturr that one of them would be on the bench &#8211; though it would be right in the <em>middle</em> of the bench.</p>
  578. ]]></content:encoded>
  580. <wfw:commentRss>https://fistedaway.wordpress.com/2012/12/05/walcott-sturridge-form-club/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
  581. <slash:comments>5</slash:comments>
  585. <media:content url="https://1.gravatar.com/avatar/1932bb3320f57ca7af2469d1a9c3604353e2dbe01ce2cb8ba22d37f5e2da9657?s=96&#38;d=https%3A%2F%2F1.gravatar.com%2Favatar%2Fad516503a11cd5ca435acc9bb6523536%3Fs%3D96" medium="image">
  586. <media:title type="html">RobDennis</media:title>
  587. </media:content>
  588.  
  589. <media:content url="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/11/daniel-sturridge-theo-walcott-england-v-swede_28262641.jpg" medium="image">
  590. <media:title type="html">Theoniel Sturrcott</media:title>
  591. </media:content>
  592.  
  593. <media:content url="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/walstur221012.jpeg" medium="image">
  594. <media:title type="html">Walcott and Sturridge</media:title>
  595. </media:content>
  596.  
  597. <media:content url="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/theoanddan_crest.jpeg" medium="image">
  598. <media:title type="html">AFC Dan and Theo&#039;s Top Secret Brill Club United</media:title>
  599. </media:content>
  600. </item>
  601. <item>
  602. <title>New advert for the Premier League is actually a terrible &#8216;advert for the Premier League&#8217;</title>
  603. <link>https://fistedaway.wordpress.com/2012/10/26/new-advert-for-the-premier-league-is-actually-a-terrible-advert-for-the-premier-league/</link>
  604. <comments>https://fistedaway.wordpress.com/2012/10/26/new-advert-for-the-premier-league-is-actually-a-terrible-advert-for-the-premier-league/#comments</comments>
  606. <dc:creator><![CDATA[NickDunmore]]></dc:creator>
  607. <pubDate>Fri, 26 Oct 2012 13:05:57 +0000</pubDate>
  608. <category><![CDATA[News]]></category>
  609. <category><![CDATA[Mark Clement]]></category>
  610. <category><![CDATA[Premier League]]></category>
  611. <category><![CDATA[Tim Lovejoy]]></category>
  612. <category><![CDATA[Tony Pulis]]></category>
  613. <guid isPermaLink="false">http://fistedaway.wordpress.com/?p=3168</guid>
  614.  
  615. <description><![CDATA[A new advert for the Premier League has received a widespread panning for being, in truth, &#8220;a terrible advert for the Premier League&#8221;. Fans and critics alike have dismissed the advert for being unrealistic, bombastic, and &#8211; worst of all &#8211; a bit silly. The advert, which featured a soundtrack somehow combining indie-rock, dubstep and [&#8230;]]]></description>
  616. <content:encoded><![CDATA[<a href="https://twitter.com/fistedaway" class="twitter-follow-button" data-show-count="false" data-text-color="#333333" data-link-color="#265e15">Follow @fistedaway</a>
  617. <p><a href="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/10/premier-league-players.jpeg"><img loading="lazy" data-attachment-id="3181" data-permalink="https://fistedaway.wordpress.com/2012/10/26/new-advert-for-the-premier-league-is-actually-a-terrible-advert-for-the-premier-league/premier-league-players/" data-orig-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/10/premier-league-players.jpeg" data-orig-size="660,350" data-comments-opened="1" data-image-meta="{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;}" data-image-title="Premier League Players" data-image-description="" data-image-caption="" data-medium-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/10/premier-league-players.jpeg?w=300" data-large-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/10/premier-league-players.jpeg?w=500" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-3181" title="Premier League Players" alt="Looky, Shouty, Pointy, Hungry, Oi-oi!, Bleurgh" src="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/10/premier-league-players.jpeg?w=500&#038;h=265" height="265" width="500" srcset="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/10/premier-league-players.jpeg?w=500&amp;h=265 500w, https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/10/premier-league-players.jpeg?w=150&amp;h=80 150w, https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/10/premier-league-players.jpeg?w=300&amp;h=159 300w, https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/10/premier-league-players.jpeg 660w" sizes="(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px" /></a></p>
  618. <p>A new advert for the Premier League has received a widespread panning for being, in truth, &#8220;a terrible advert for the Premier League&#8221;. Fans and critics alike have dismissed the advert for being unrealistic, bombastic, and &#8211; worst of all &#8211; a bit silly.</p>
  619. <p>The advert, which featured a soundtrack somehow combining indie-rock, dubstep and a gravel voiced Scottish man reading an unprecedentedly alliterative poem that may as well have been written by a 12-year-old, was shown for the first time at an all star gala co-hosted by Mark &#8220;Clem&#8221; Clement and Tim &#8220;44&#8221; Lovejoy.</p>
  620. <p><span id="more-3168"></span></p>
  621. <p><a href="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/10/premier-league.jpg"><img loading="lazy" data-attachment-id="3186" data-permalink="https://fistedaway.wordpress.com/2012/10/26/new-advert-for-the-premier-league-is-actually-a-terrible-advert-for-the-premier-league/premier-league-2/" data-orig-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/10/premier-league.jpg" data-orig-size="500,353" data-comments-opened="1" data-image-meta="{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;}" data-image-title="Premier League" data-image-description="" data-image-caption="" data-medium-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/10/premier-league.jpg?w=300" data-large-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/10/premier-league.jpg?w=500" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-3186" title="Premier League" alt="Nothing like Doctor Who then, no." src="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/10/premier-league.jpg?w=500&#038;h=353" height="353" width="500" srcset="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/10/premier-league.jpg 500w, https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/10/premier-league.jpg?w=150&amp;h=106 150w, https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/10/premier-league.jpg?w=300&amp;h=212 300w" sizes="(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px" /></a></p>
  622. <p>Opinion polls conducted with a supporters group in attendance revealed disappointment at the conspicuous lack of the following:</p>
  623. <ul>
  624. <li>overhit and/or miscontrolled passes</li>
  625. <li>THOSE types of players</li>
  626. <li>booing racial abuse victims</li>
  627. <li>berating players who had the temerity to suffer career-threatening injuries against their club.</li>
  628. </ul>
  629. <p>Parents groups were also outraged at the content of the advert. &#8220;There wasn&#8217;t a single player bellowing obscenities down the camera at me&#8221; said one tearful mother &#8220;Who else is going to teach my children about swearing? Their fucking <em>teachers</em>? They&#8217;re all too busy striking for the right to date 15-year-olds, as I understand it.&#8221;</p>
  630. <p>The poll revealed the worst aspect of all to be the decision to present the advert from the point-of-view of Tony Pulis&#8217; hat, itself a terrible advert for headwear.</p>
  631. <p>Top advertising industry expert Jez Jeremy admitted the advert left him confused. &#8220;After all that jumping, punching and screaming, I&#8217;m not entirely sure what they are actually selling &#8211; if you pushed me, I&#8217;d have to guess &#8216;warrior orgasms&#8217;?&#8221;</p>
  632. <p>This latest embarrassment for the league follows on from an farcical episode during the 2009-10 season where the Premier League inadvertently became a great advert for the Bundesliga for 3 months.</p>
  633. <p>Thankfully, fans presumed that the German league&#8217;s full stadiums, happy fans, tactical variation and exciting play had to be some kind of soap opera, and quickly dismissed it for not being as good as Dream Team.</p>
  634. ]]></content:encoded>
  636. <wfw:commentRss>https://fistedaway.wordpress.com/2012/10/26/new-advert-for-the-premier-league-is-actually-a-terrible-advert-for-the-premier-league/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
  637. <slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
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  642. <media:title type="html">NickDunmore</media:title>
  643. </media:content>
  644.  
  645. <media:content url="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/10/premier-league-players.jpeg" medium="image">
  646. <media:title type="html">Premier League Players</media:title>
  647. </media:content>
  648.  
  649. <media:content url="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/10/premier-league.jpg" medium="image">
  650. <media:title type="html">Premier League</media:title>
  651. </media:content>
  652. </item>
  653. <item>
  654. <title>BBC desperately trying to get MOTD team to say something career-ending on air</title>
  655. <link>https://fistedaway.wordpress.com/2012/07/17/bbc-desperately-trying-to-get-motd-team-to-say-something-career-ending-on-air/</link>
  656. <comments>https://fistedaway.wordpress.com/2012/07/17/bbc-desperately-trying-to-get-motd-team-to-say-something-career-ending-on-air/#respond</comments>
  658. <dc:creator><![CDATA[NickDunmore]]></dc:creator>
  659. <pubDate>Tue, 17 Jul 2012 19:24:20 +0000</pubDate>
  660. <category><![CDATA[News]]></category>
  661. <category><![CDATA[alan hansen]]></category>
  662. <category><![CDATA[alan shearer]]></category>
  663. <category><![CDATA[BBC]]></category>
  664. <category><![CDATA[Colin Murray]]></category>
  665. <category><![CDATA[gary lineker]]></category>
  666. <category><![CDATA[George Entwistle]]></category>
  667. <category><![CDATA[Lee Dixon]]></category>
  668. <category><![CDATA[Manish Bhasin]]></category>
  669. <category><![CDATA[Mark Lawrenson]]></category>
  670. <category><![CDATA[MOTD]]></category>
  671. <guid isPermaLink="false">http://fistedaway.wordpress.com/?p=3142</guid>
  672.  
  673. <description><![CDATA[A BBC insider has revealed the lengths the corporation has gone to entrap the Match of the Day team- into uttering something so heinous that they have an excuse to sack them immediately. The Match of the Day team are known to have long-term contracts with a variety of cast-iron clauses preventing them from being moved on [&#8230;]]]></description>
  674. <content:encoded><![CDATA[<a href="https://twitter.com/fistedaway" class="twitter-follow-button" data-show-count="false" data-text-color="#333333" data-link-color="#265e15">Follow @fistedaway</a>
  675. <p><a href="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/bbc-match-of-the-day-live-001.jpeg"><img loading="lazy" data-attachment-id="3153" data-permalink="https://fistedaway.wordpress.com/2012/07/17/bbc-desperately-trying-to-get-motd-team-to-say-something-career-ending-on-air/bbc-match-of-the-day-live-001/" data-orig-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/bbc-match-of-the-day-live-001.jpeg" data-orig-size="460,276" data-comments-opened="1" data-image-meta="{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;}" data-image-title="BBC-Match-of-the-Day-" data-image-description="" data-image-caption="" data-medium-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/bbc-match-of-the-day-live-001.jpeg?w=300" data-large-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/bbc-match-of-the-day-live-001.jpeg?w=460" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-3153" title="BBC-Match-of-the-Day-" src="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/bbc-match-of-the-day-live-001.jpeg?w=500" alt=""   srcset="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/bbc-match-of-the-day-live-001.jpeg 460w, https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/bbc-match-of-the-day-live-001.jpeg?w=150&amp;h=90 150w, https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/bbc-match-of-the-day-live-001.jpeg?w=300&amp;h=180 300w" sizes="(max-width: 460px) 100vw, 460px" /></a></p>
  676. <p>A BBC insider has revealed the lengths the corporation has gone to entrap the Match of the Day team- into uttering something so heinous that they have an excuse to sack them immediately.</p>
  677. <p>The Match of the Day team are known to have long-term contracts with a variety of cast-iron clauses preventing them from being moved on for otherwise career-ending misdemeanours, including traffic offences, affairs, comparing a tackle to rape or not knowing anything about Hatem Ben Arfa.</p>
  678. <p><span id="more-3142"></span>This contractual impasse has forced the corporation to think more creatively if they want to move on the creaking Lineker, Hansen, Shearer and Lawrenson. Our insider, who has worked as a cameraman on the Saturday night show since 2006, detailed the BBC bosses&#8217; various attempts to engineer an outburst from the team including:</p>
  679. <ul>
  680. <li>A &#8216;provocative&#8217; dress-code enforced for all runners, production assistants and Lee Dixon.</li>
  681. <li>Offering Manish Bhasin a bonus if, for the mid-MOTD &#8220;toss&#8221; to preview The Football League Show, he can alarm the pundits by growing an unnervingly long beard and speaking through a loudhailer.</li>
  682. <li>Double bonus if he wears a hook on his hand.</li>
  683. <li>A 20 year plan where players where paid to dramatically feign injury, don alice bands and wear increasingly garish boots &#8211; all with the hope of getting Mark Lawrenson to embark on a homophobic rant that lasts an entire half.</li>
  684. <li>Colin Murray.</li>
  685. </ul>
  686. <p><a href="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/george-entwistle-the-bbc-008.jpeg"><img loading="lazy" data-attachment-id="3161" data-permalink="https://fistedaway.wordpress.com/2012/07/17/bbc-desperately-trying-to-get-motd-team-to-say-something-career-ending-on-air/george-entwistle-the-bbc-director-general/" data-orig-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/george-entwistle-the-bbc-008.jpeg" data-orig-size="460,276" data-comments-opened="1" data-image-meta="{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;5.6&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;David Levene&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;Canon EOS 5D Mark II&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;David Levene&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;50&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;200&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0.0125&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;George Entwistle the BBC director general&quot;}" data-image-title="George Entwistle the BBC director general" data-image-description="" data-image-caption="" data-medium-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/george-entwistle-the-bbc-008.jpeg?w=300" data-large-file="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/george-entwistle-the-bbc-008.jpeg?w=460" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-3161" title="George Entwistle the BBC director general" src="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/george-entwistle-the-bbc-008.jpeg?w=500" alt=""   srcset="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/george-entwistle-the-bbc-008.jpeg 460w, https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/george-entwistle-the-bbc-008.jpeg?w=150&amp;h=90 150w, https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/george-entwistle-the-bbc-008.jpeg?w=300&amp;h=180 300w" sizes="(max-width: 460px) 100vw, 460px" /></a></p>
  687. <p>Incoming BBC Director General George Entwistle confirmed the existence of &#8216;Project 19th Hole&#8217; clearly relishes the task facing him. &#8220;After ITV got into racism &#8216;early doors&#8217; and Sky &#8216;smashed&#8217; sexism, I&#8217;m hoping that under my stewardship the BBC can take it to the next level&#8221;.</p>
  688. <p>Entwistle has already ordered the technical team to rewire all autocues to replace Gary Lineker&#8217;s closing puns with a selection of David Irving material. Meanwhile, catering staff have been ordered to replace all water with vodka, or, in Alan Hansen&#8217;s case, white spirit.</p>
  689. <p>Entwistle brings considerable experience: &#8220;Having recently masterminded a project which very nearly <a title="The Guardian | Queen's diamond jubilee: BBC bosses dodge criticism of TV coverage" href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2012/jun/06/queens-diamond-jubilee-bbc" target="_blank">wiped out the entire light-entertainment presenter division</a> at a stroke, I know that I can finish the job here&#8221;.</p>
  690. ]]></content:encoded>
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  698. <media:title type="html">NickDunmore</media:title>
  699. </media:content>
  700.  
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  702. <media:title type="html">BBC-Match-of-the-Day-</media:title>
  703. </media:content>
  704.  
  705. <media:content url="https://fistedaway.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/george-entwistle-the-bbc-008.jpeg" medium="image">
  706. <media:title type="html">George Entwistle the BBC director general</media:title>
  707. </media:content>
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